Fingers (and all other appendages) crossed

So I wasn't sure if I was going to blog about this or not, because I don't want to jinx it, buuuuut I need you guys's good mojo vibes.

Here's the deal.

This summer, I'm staying up in the northeast, and I'm trying to find a summer job. [SIDE NOTE: I was talking to my roommates about how I was so excited to have a "nice, cool" summer outside of Texas, because I figured it'd be like 70 degrees and gorgeous all summer long, cause hello, it's almost April and 20-something degrees outside now, but then my roommates all looked at each other and started laughing and wouldn't stop. So then I was like "WHAT?!" and they were like "You realize it's 180% humidity EVERY. DAY. HERE., right? You will essentially be a sopping wet puddle of goo." And then I cried and debated moving to Canada because sometimes I think that Canada will solve all my life problems.]

[That was a rather large, caffeine-fueled digression. Pardon me.]


I'm looking around for nanny jobs, and I had an interview for one today, and oh, you guys, it is PERFECT for me. Seriously. This job was handpicked for me by the nanny jobs.

The good:
* 3-week-old baby girl (CANNOT. HANDLE. THE BABY CUTENESS.)
* 10-minute walk from my apartment
* Great pay
* Really sweet, hands-on parents

The bad:
* The whole "3-week-old baby girl" bit. Because you guys. I've relied on nannying for the past several years as the best form of birth control ever. But I'm not even kidding. They put that baby in my arms today and my ovaries about started glowing. This could be a problem. iwantababy.

They're interviewing several other candidates, but they said I'd hear by the end of the week. Please send all good vibes and extra condoms (KIDDING, MOM AND DAD!) my way!


Angst! Angst! Angst!

So I was in a *terrible* mood tonight. But then I watched this and suddenly, life was better again. God bless you, Ron Weasley.


Back to the salt mines!

I had a whirlwind of a weekend — 24 hours in Manhattan/Queens to see my sister, and meet Jamie and Cait and Alix! It was crazy, spontaneous, and awesome.

I didn't get a picture with the other girls, but here's my sis and me in Times Square. Love her so much.

Essentially, the weekend consisted of 9 hours on a bus, one new brown belt from a vintage store, a copy of the Kama Sutra discounted 60% off (rawk!), new friends, FAO Schwartz's Harry Potter land, and coffee!coffee!coffee!

All in all...yes please. Can we do that again?


Life with a cat

Oh no, Oscar, it's fine — you go ahead and drink that. It's not like I poured it for myself or anything. It's fine. Really.

(Note the tongue. Action shot!)


Confession time: Year IV

So! It's my birthday, AND THERE IS NO COFFEE IN THE APARTMENT. I'm pretty sure I fail at being a grown up.

(I should probably put "grown up" in quotation marks, since...well...let's be honest. I still giggled at the last name Weiner at work today.)

But since it's my birthday, it's time for Year Four (HOLY CRAP) of Birthday Confessions! Here's the deal:

1. Post an anonymous comment--of a secret, confession, like, dislike...anything you want. It can be happy and light, it can be deep and depressing. WHATEVER you want.
2. There will be NO judging or cruel comments about anybody else's secrets.

That's it. And I'll be sprinkling some of my own secrets in there, too. It's weirdly cathartic. Thanks, anonymity!

Have a great day, y'all :)

(Year I)
(Year II)
(Year III)


3 days until my birthday. WHAT.

So. An update.

(I've been meaning to get on here and write for days. Really. But...it's hard thinking about everything, much less writing it out. So here's a brief snippet.)

• I managed to avoid IOP (outpatient) and inpatient. I'm exhausted, I feel enormous and disgusting, but I managed to eat a bit more and not purge quite so much so I could stay out.

• I have a new eating disorder therapist. I swear to god, this woman was handpicked for me. She's incredible. I'm seeing her 3x/week (and the nutritionist once), so I'm getting some sort of therapy Mon/Tues/Wed/Fri.

• Insurance. I hate you. My new therapist is out of network, and on my plan I have to meet a $2500 deductible before my insurance provider will start to help cover costs. I honestly can't even think about that or I'll panic. Health + mental sanity > staying out of debt, right?

• I did this weird thing called "A Week with Ed." And it was pictures/audio of bits of a week of what it's like to live with an eating disorder. I don't know how I feel about that. I made it mostly for myself, trying to make myself feel better about my body...but now it's just hard to watch. I thought about posting it here...but I'm on the fence. (Plus there's a picture where you can see my booty.)

• My birthday is in three days (Thursday). Wait. What? Really? I don't think I'm okay with this.

• I'm cat-sitting for a friend this week while she's gone on spring break. This is Oscar:

He is actually playing with my ball of red yarn. It is LITERALLY the cutest cat cliche ever.

Okay. The end. Bedtime.