So once upon a time, my dad had a sweater.
And around our house, it was known as the Feminine Sweater. Because while it's a big, bulky off-white cable knit sweater, on my dad it looked, um, rather feminine.
And oh, we teased him mercilessly about that sweater. Whenever he'd wear it, we'd be all, "Dad! LOVE the Feminine Sweater!" and "Dad! That knitted pattern is so lovely against your skin tone!" and "Dad! American Apparel called! They want their sweater back!"
One time, and I am so not even kidding, my mom, sister and I nominated my dad for What Not To Wear, and the picture we sent in was a picture of him in the Feminine Sweater.
I'm still sad he wasn't picked for the show. I so wanted to attach myself to Stacy's and Clinton's hips and nevereverletgo. Because nothing in life would make me happier than finding out I was their long lost daughter and WHAT'S THIS? A $5,000 VISA GIFT CARD TO SPEND ON CLOTHES? RAWK.
When I left for college ohmylord THREE years ago, I snuck the Feminine Sweater in my suitcase. And I've had it ever since. It's now MY Feminine Sweater, and I wear it all the time because it is SO GOSH DARN COMFORTABLE. Now I understand why my dad wouldn't throw it away.
But yes. It's mine now. And it makes me so happy. See? (this was from freshman year. ZEXAY.)
P.S. My dad does have another feminine sweater. It's maroon. I'm secretly hoping my sister will steal it to take back to college with her when she comes home for Christmas.