First of all, I AM DONE WITH FINALS OH THANK YOU JEEBUS I SURVIVED.
Second of all, [COLLAPSE].
So back in September I bought a fish named Severus. And oh y'all. Sev? Is one hell of a diva fish.
He demands to be cleaned EVERY WEEK EXACTLY, or he pouts. And if I don't pay enough attention to him, he sulks. And if I don't let him eat all my ice cream, he refuses to clean his castle. Someone's got a 'tude problem, ladies and gentlemen. But I put up with him because I'm a ridiculously nice person.
When I went home for Thanksgiving break, I put a 7-day fish feeder thingy in his bowl and left him in my apartment. But now I'm going home for Christmas, and they don't make 31-day fish feeder thingies, so I knew I needed to find other arrangements for Sev.
None of my roommates live close enough to take him home, and I didn't think Sev would really like the airplane ride home to Texas, so I set around begging all of my friends and coworkers to PLEASE take my fish please please please!
My friend Kelly suggested that I fill up the bathtub and put like 10 7-day fish feeders in there and hope he lives. I suggested that she shove it. We're such good friends.
Ultimately, one of the guys at work said he'd take Sev over break. So tonight I packed up my boy and transported him ON THE SUBWAY in the FREEZING COLD for 40 minutes to get to this guy's apartment.
SEVERUS. You are more trouble than it's worth, fish. Good thing ah luff yew.
Let me just tell you: clutching a bag full of fish to your chest trying to keep the water warm when it's 20 degrees outside and mumbling, "C'mon, Sevie, stay warm for mommy!" while on the subway gets you a lot of weird looks.
But whatevs. Sev's badass enough to have a castle in his bowl. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
HE'S MY BOY.
P.S. Here's how I transported him:
P.P.S. This was on the subway this morning. I could not stop giggling. I am a 12-year-old boy.