So remember that time someone had a blog and then she disappeared off the face of the planet and didn't write on it for *does the math* 17 days?
OHRIGHT. That was me. Oops.
I'm alive, I promise. And right now, I'm sitting at home in Texas. And I'm distracted because my bird, Lula, is trying to eat the chair and LULA YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT THE CHAIR. So there's that.
For the rest of the post...we're going to bullet-point. Forgive me.
• It's Thanksgiving break. I wasn't planning on coming home (in fact, I was going to go to New York to meet the awesome Jamie), but then I found a REALLY cheap ticket to fly home. So I did. And surprised my mom :) best surprise ever!
• I'm less than a month away from the end of the semester. You guys...this semester has been hell. I love my school, love my job, but dealing with both of those simultaneously with the eating disorder and depression has been one of the toughest things I've had to do.
• Oh yeah. Eating disorder. That kind of came back like a bitch this semester. It grabbed hold of me and controlled my every waking thought (which was a lot, since I was only sleeping 2-3 hours each night). And it plunged me into a horrible depression. Oh, you guys, I can't tell you how many days I couldn't get out of bed for the sadness. It was bad.
• Therapy! Therapy helps. It was hard at first, so freaking hard. I was going three times a week, and after each session, I'd leave and just cry and cry. I couldn't keep my head above the water. But slowly, I started feeling more triumphant after therapy sessions. I became reinvigorated to fight the eating disorder.
• Prozac. I never wanted to medicate myself. But when both of my therapists started pushing me to take a leave of absence from school, because I just couldn't function with the eating disorder and depression, I knew I had to do something. So I started about 5 weeks ago, and I'm just starting to see a difference, and I'm so, so grateful.
• It's not all bad! I PROMISE. This semester was/is unbelievably tough, but I have the worlds best friends who held me when I cried and pushed me to get the help I needed. I'm so, so lucky.
• Erin sent me the most beautiful quilt that she made. It's gorgeous, and I love snuggling up under it in my cold apartment! I promise to post pictures of it as soon as I get back.
So there you have it. It's been rough, I'm not going to lie. But I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. And right now, as I'm sitting in my living room with my parents, drinking a glass of wine, with Lula the parakeet sitting on my computER WHAT LULA WHY DID YOU POOP ON MY COMPUTER GOOD GRIEF BIRD lkadjshfalskdjfhalsdkjfl.
Well. Harumph. I WAS happy. Now I have to clean up bird poop.
[But it's still all good.]
It's good to be back. I missed you all. XOXO.