Coffee me away


Did you know I'm going? What's that? You could tell by the dark circles under my eyes that can now be seen from outer space? GOTCHA.


No really, school is awesome and I love it here so much. It's just thaZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzTHUNK.

OH HELLO, WALL OF EXHAUSTION! I just ran into you!

Yup, the fatigue is here. Hardcore. Which basically means that I have a new boyfriend and his name is The Coffepot.

Oh, y'all.

I'm head-over-heels for the little black machine that serves me legal addictive stimulants every morning. LUFF. EET.

Seriously: here's how I wake up.

• Sasha the magical iPhone's alarm goes off in the form of an old car horn (my roommates LOVE me!): [AROOOOOGA. AROOOOOGA. AROOOOGA.]

• Me: [reach over, grab Sasha, resist throwing her across the room, and set 5 more minutes on the alarm.]

• Sasha's alarm goes off in the form of an old car horn 5 minutes later: [AROOOOOGA. AROOOOOGA. AROOOOGA.]

• I curse the world, sit up, put in my contacts, feed Sev the fish, and stagger to the kitchen. Then I turn on the coffee pot and stand bleary-eyed waiting for it to make. Slash fall asleep at the kitchen table until I hear the three most glorious sounds known to man: beep! beep! beep!


• Then I pour myself a laaarge cup, add an ice cube, take a few sips, and turn into a human being. YAY.

All I'm sayin', y'all, is that if whoever first realized that coffee was a thing and mass-marketed it walked through my door, I'd marry him or her on the spot.

I just hope whoever it is is okay with me also marrying Sasha's white noise app. Cause otherwise things could get AWKWARD.