Subway etiquette?

So it's generally acknowledged that I'm just about the most awkward person EVER. And I accept that. And love that. Because I'M SO COOL.

But part of being awkward is not knowing what to do in certain social situations. Like when I'm on the subway. Which is very often.

(I took the liberty of drawing you guys some lovely pictures in Photoshop. I hope you're proud of me because they seriously took like 5 minutes each to do.)

So at certain times of the day, the subway is VERY VERY FULL. Like this:

*The black squares are seats. The blue X's are boys and pink X's are girls because I totally buy into stereotypes. The pink X that's circled with the arrow pointing to it that says "me" is me. Yellow X's are people who don't want to identify a gender. (Yay for being politically correct!) Red X's are children. I don't know why.

When the subway is that full, I generally squeeze in wherever I can fit. Sometimes I sit, sometimes I stand, depending on how full it is and who needs seats. I have no problem with that.

BUT. I *do* have a problem when this happens:

If you've never been on a subway before or if you can't understand my beautiful pictures, that's what happens after we make a stop and 84% of the people get off. Don't ask me where I got that percentage. I don't know the answer.

My problem is: when 84% of the people get off of the subway, EXCEPT for the people sitting on the side I'm on, and I'm still squished in between the smelly stinky blue X and the cool politically correct yellow X, can...can I move across the aisle? To sit where there's space? Is that in bad taste?

I never know. So I usually stay put. Awkwardly.

As per usual.


duchesspandora said...

Umm, you *do* know that, even if you getting up and moving to a more spacious spot were to cause anyone any sort of social angst, they will *not* be able to boot you off the subway - right? And that there actually is NOT any sort of "Most Wanted" wall of shame for rude passengers. In fact, the odds are that anyone whom your sensibility *does* offend will never knowingly set eyes upon you again. So breathe easy and move! :-)

The Nanny said...

See, I KNOW, but if I have to just sit and stare at them it's AWKWARD :)

Kait said...

Be silly, and use it to your advantage. Make like you're getting off the subway, but then "oops, not my spot, I'll just sit down over here!" I mean hey, you'll look silly, but you'll be politically correct-ish.

Monica H said...

I've never been on a Subway but I don't the problem with moving. Maybe the other people stay put because they think it's awkward to move too?

red x's are kids- ha ha!

nannylala said...

I feel like it's rude too, so I do the same thing you do... But, I agree that everyone else probably doesn't move for the same reasons - they probably all want to move so I guess it would be 50/50. Some people would be offended, some relieved... most would be both!

Kara said...

I say move! You owe no one an explanation, but if you feel like saying something you could always lightheartedly toss out something like "no reason we shouldn't spread out!" Or "Look! More rooooom!"

Bethany said...

I'm not much of a Subway rider, um, never have ridden one in fact. However, I do ride buses occassionally when in big cities. I'm definitely one to move to a seat not surrounded by smelly people. So move. :)

Nic said...

I just love your illustrations!!!

I think I'd move. But it's been so long since I've been on the T that I couldn't say for sure. Perhaps I'm misremembering how daring I am ;-)