2.01.2010

No names

So I love names. Like a lot. Like my future children are going to have 14 names apiece, tacked on one after the other like a string of Christmas lights.

And I'm *really* picky about what names I like. Absolutely NO NO NO creative spellings. No y's where there are supposed to be e's or i's. No superfluous letters. No made up words. No boys names as girls names. Basically, the name Kenzington Aydynne Ryleigh for a girl is about as bad as you can get.

(No offense to you creative-spellers/unique-namers: it's just not my taste.)

So when I do find names that I like, they go on my OFFICIAL LAMINATED LIST OF NAMES. Which isn't really laminated because if I had to re-laminate each time I changed my mind/added a name, the world would would be out of laminate paper.

Recently, I had my bubble burst about two names I liked. Neither pair were at the top of my list, but I did like the names together. But boytoy Sean went and had to MESS EVERYTHING UP.

The name Addie is one I've always liked. Not short for Addison (that's a boy's name), but short for Adelaide or something like that. And I think Addie Clare/Claire is a sweet little combination. Except when boytoy Sean heard that, this is what happened:

Me: "Sean! I like names. LET'S TALK ABOUT THEM."
Sean: *whimper*
Me: "Here is a complete list of the names I like and now we are going to talk about why I like them."
Sean: *whimper*
Me: "Blah, blah, blah, name, name, name, Addie Claire, name, name, name, bla--"
Sean: "--ADDIE CLAIRE?"
Me: blink. blinkblink
Sean: "Addie Claire is a TERRIBLE name."
Me: "WHY?!?!?!?"
Sean: "Because it sounds like you're saying "I DECLARE" in a southern accent!"
Me: *mouth agape*

He's right. He's totally right. It totally does. Try it. Now when I say "Addie Claire" I can't not think "AH DE-CLAYRE". The name is ruined. RUINED, I SAY.

Several weeks later, we had another conversation:
Me: "Sean! I like names. LET'S TALK ABOUT THEM."
Sean: *whimper*
Me: "I've revised my list since our last discussion. Let's go over the changes!"
Sean: *whimper*
Me: "Blah, blah, blah, name, name, name, Ada Sparrow*, name, name, name, bla--"
Sean: "--ADA SPARROW?"
Me: *SIGH* "What now?"
Sean: "YOU ATE A SPARROW?"
Me: *headdesk*

He's right again. Dang it all to heck, he's right. Ada Sparrow sounds like "ate a sparrow." So now that's off the list too. GREAT. JUST GREAT, BOYTOY SEAN.

I'm fairly sure the rest of my list is okay and doesn't sound like I'm extremely southern or that I eat birds. But I find out that Eliza Grace sounds like "He lies a race," I'm giving up on life.

*No, I did *not* get Sparrow from Nicole Richie. I had Sparrow on my list a LONG time before she named her kid that. But I had it as a girl's middle name.

**Also, I would just like to point out for my mom's sake that I AM NOT HAVING ANY BABIES ANYTIME SOON I JUST LIKE TALKING ABOUT NAMES CALM DOWN MOTHER.

Edited to add: In the comments section, Niobe ever-so-nicely provided a very helpful list of what also not to name your child:
• Anna Claire (an eclair)
• Amanda Lynn (a mandolin)
• Claire Annette (clarinet)
• Aretha Holly (this one took me forever to figure out -- I had to ask one of my roommates. "a wreath of holly" :))
• Polly Esther (polyester)

11 comments:

Lisa L said...

i grew up with a girl in elementary school. she was the only kid of a second marriage and mum wanted to use all her fave names it seems, cos they only had the one child. i learned my friend's name off by heart, immediately, because it was so, just, amazing to me. here goes: her name was 'heidi,ailsa, victoria, roberta, kate, darvel, english.' oh yes it was. and when she had kids? they had one name each.

The Nanny said...

"English"???

Wow. See...there are some pretty names in there! Ailsa, Kate, Heidi...but THAT'S A LOT FOR A KINDERGARTENER TO LEARN TO SPELL, I'm just sayin'.

Erin O. said...

I love you!!! I have a list probably just as long and now have to go revise it because heavens if I name my child something crazy!

P.S. Love the topic for today.

Lisa L said...

'English' was her surname :)

Anonymous said...

YOUCANNOTTAKEALLTHEGOODNAMESIGETSOMETOO.

thanks!
-your sister

niobe said...

I'm really liking Sean. Other names you might want to cross off your list:

Anna Claire (an eclair)
Amanda Lynn (a mandolin)
Claire Annette (clarinet)
Aretha Holly
Polly Esther

The Nanny said...

Niobe - *snort* I dunno, Polly Esther has such a nice ring to it...and she'll have an instant tagline: "Hope you're not as fake as the fabric!"

Nic said...

why can I sometimes comment on your posts and other times not?

Re: snot stew, I find that if I take 500mg vitamin C 2x/day when I have a cold I barely need any tissues and don't sneeze at all. I can tell when it wears off in the afternoon and take another at that point. Highly recommend! I just get it at CVS...

The Nanny said...

Nic - cause I turn off the comments on (most) picture posts. And thanks for the tip!

Monica H said...

I kinda like Anna Claire even if it reminds me of a pastry. Maybe that's the beauty in it :-)

Just think, Sean is saving your future kids for years of teasing!

Amanda said...

I'm new to your blog and have been reading back through some of your posts. This post caught my attention b/c I too love names. I have 2 boys and agonized over names for them and EVERY time I came up with one I loved the hubsters shot it down b/c kids would make fun of it or this reason or that. I'm like you had a list for-EVER. You also have to take into consideration the child's last name. Our last name is Straw. Not Hay but Straw (yes, we poke fun at ourselves). My absolute favorite girl name is Isabella. Think of Isabella Straw--say it OUTLOUD. IS-A-BAIL-OF-STRAW!!! Still love the name...can't even use Bella. Darn last name! Sorry this got so long for my first comment but I could talk names forever!