My fave Christmas present

Santa must have known that laundry in my apartment building is $4 a load, and that the machines only take quarters. Score, Santa! Saves me a trip to the bank.


Christmas rush

Decorating the Christmas tree!
christmas rush


Good tidings to you

Merry Christmas, all you wonderful people out in blogland! I'm not on my blog as much as I'd like to anymore, but know that I love each and every one of you (yes, YOU) and am wishing you and yours all the very best.

And, if you're looking for something to renew/validate your faith in humanity, here's what made me all swoony and teary-eyed today:

The Bloggess is the bomb dot com.

Happy holidays!


An Adventure For Sev


Second of all, [COLLAPSE].


So back in September I bought a fish named Severus. And oh y'all. Sev? Is one hell of a diva fish.

He demands to be cleaned EVERY WEEK EXACTLY, or he pouts. And if I don't pay enough attention to him, he sulks. And if I don't let him eat all my ice cream, he refuses to clean his castle. Someone's got a 'tude problem, ladies and gentlemen. But I put up with him because I'm a ridiculously nice person.


When I went home for Thanksgiving break, I put a 7-day fish feeder thingy in his bowl and left him in my apartment. But now I'm going home for Christmas, and they don't make 31-day fish feeder thingies, so I knew I needed to find other arrangements for Sev.

None of my roommates live close enough to take him home, and I didn't think Sev would really like the airplane ride home to Texas, so I set around begging all of my friends and coworkers to PLEASE take my fish please please please!

My friend Kelly suggested that I fill up the bathtub and put like 10 7-day fish feeders in there and hope he lives. I suggested that she shove it. We're such good friends.

Ultimately, one of the guys at work said he'd take Sev over break. So tonight I packed up my boy and transported him ON THE SUBWAY in the FREEZING COLD for 40 minutes to get to this guy's apartment.

SEVERUS. You are more trouble than it's worth, fish. Good thing ah luff yew.

Let me just tell you: clutching a bag full of fish to your chest trying to keep the water warm when it's 20 degrees outside and mumbling, "C'mon, Sevie, stay warm for mommy!" while on the subway gets you a lot of weird looks.

But whatevs. Sev's badass enough to have a castle in his bowl. I don't care what anyone else thinks.


P.S. Here's how I transported him:

P.P.S. This was on the subway this morning. I could not stop giggling. I am a 12-year-old boy.


View from my living room

It's a gloomy day in the northeast. Rainy and cold. Which means I just want to go back to bed instead of working on final projects/photoessays/exams. GUH.


The Feminine Sweater

So once upon a time, my dad had a sweater.

And around our house, it was known as the Feminine Sweater. Because while it's a big, bulky off-white cable knit sweater, on my dad it looked, um, rather feminine.

And oh, we teased him mercilessly about that sweater. Whenever he'd wear it, we'd be all, "Dad! LOVE the Feminine Sweater!" and "Dad! That knitted pattern is so lovely against your skin tone!" and "Dad! American Apparel called! They want their sweater back!"

One time, and I am so not even kidding, my mom, sister and I nominated my dad for What Not To Wear, and the picture we sent in was a picture of him in the Feminine Sweater.

I'm still sad he wasn't picked for the show. I so wanted to attach myself to Stacy's and Clinton's hips and nevereverletgo. Because nothing in life would make me happier than finding out I was their long lost daughter and WHAT'S THIS? A $5,000 VISA GIFT CARD TO SPEND ON CLOTHES? RAWK.


When I left for college ohmylord THREE years ago, I snuck the Feminine Sweater in my suitcase. And I've had it ever since. It's now MY Feminine Sweater, and I wear it all the time because it is SO GOSH DARN COMFORTABLE. Now I understand why my dad wouldn't throw it away.

But yes. It's mine now. And it makes me so happy. See? (this was from freshman year. ZEXAY.)

P.S. My dad does have another feminine sweater. It's maroon. I'm secretly hoping my sister will steal it to take back to college with her when she comes home for Christmas.


I'm only 3+ months late on this...

...but here's my room. BUT.

1) Please ignore my lack of makeup and puffy, swollen face. And exhausted eyes. Y'know, work + school + everything, yadda yadda yadda.

2) Please ignore my weird quiet voice. I was trying to disturb my roommates. The walls here are PAPER THIN which can, um, be awkward at times. *AHEM* roommate to my right, I'm lookin' at you.

3) Please ignore my awkward narration. See #1 and #2. I really shouldn't be doing homework in this state...last night I was going to pull an all-nighter, so I made myself coffee at 9 p.m. and got to work. But then I fell asleep on the couch at like 2 a.m. (COFFEE YOU FAILED ME) and woke up this morning in yesterday's clothes, surrounded by newspapers and drooling everywhere. And now I'm panicking about all the work I still have to do! Is FUN!

4) Please just ignore everything. That's probably best.

5) Except don't ignore Erin!!! Erin, I LOVE my quilt!!!

6) Oh MY is that a flattering picture of myself that starts the video. Mom! Christmas card photo!

ma chambre from hallie on Vimeo.


Twinkle twinkle

I know I've been promising pictures/video of my apartment for, like, forever and a day...and they are coming I PROMISE. Just not tonight. Because it's midnight. And I'm tired and I still have homework to do. OOF.

But here's a sneak peak of my bedroom :)

twinkle twinkle


I wanted gelato!

So when I came home to surprise my mom, I was a mean daughter and videotaped the reaction for posterity. And for you guys :)

So here's the story. The amazing Erin picked me up at the airport (Twitter-turned-in real life friends rock!) picked me up at the airport. My parents were at a Dallas Stars game (my mom had randomly won tickets) and were in the last half of the last quarter when I landed.

I sneaky-texted my dad to get updated on where they were — I wanted to beat them home. Lucky for me, the Stars went into overtime (thanks, Stars!) and Erin got me home in plenty of time.

I ran into the house, was met with an EXPLOSIVELY happy pupster Max and a VERY freaked out uncle (who didn't know I was coming, and who was staying in my bedroom). I threw my luggage into my sister's room and planted myself on the living room couch with my computer to wait for my mom.

About 20 minutes later, my parents got home. My dad came straight into the living room to see me (quietly), but my mom? Oh, she talked to my uncle, she did some laundry, she went into the kitchen, and then into her bedroom....everything BUT go into the living room.

MOTHER. Way to make my surprise reveal difficult. Jeez.

So after waiting forever and a day in the living room, I decided to go into the kitchen, because you can see straight into the kitchen from her bedroom.

And I sat.

And waited.

And this is what happened. (P.S. Turn up your speakers. The audio is a bit quiet.)

(P.P.S. After my dad asks if my mom wants a cookie, she asks if we have any gelato instead. That part is hard to hear.)

(Obviously I have a career in filmmaking and film editing in my future.)

Surprise, mom!



It's just the four of us this Thanksgiving — my parents, sister, and me. Oh, and the dog* and the bird.

And right now there's music on, and amazing smells coming from the kitchen, and I'm curled up on the couch after a nap, and oh, you guys, it's just happy here.

There is so much to be thankful for. My family, friends, school, house, food in my belly, health, this blog (really), and finally feeling good again. I'm wishing each and every one of you happiness and peace, too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

*The dog who cost us Large Money last night at the emergency vet after he may have swallowed some vitamin D and Tylenol. Who is now fine. Oh Max.


Ohright. This thing.

So remember that time someone had a blog and then she disappeared off the face of the planet and didn't write on it for *does the math* 17 days?

OHRIGHT. That was me. Oops.

I'm alive, I promise. And right now, I'm sitting at home in Texas. And I'm distracted because my bird, Lula, is trying to eat the chair and LULA YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT THE CHAIR. So there's that.

For the rest of the post...we're going to bullet-point. Forgive me.

• It's Thanksgiving break. I wasn't planning on coming home (in fact, I was going to go to New York to meet the awesome Jamie), but then I found a REALLY cheap ticket to fly home. So I did. And surprised my mom :) best surprise ever!

• I'm less than a month away from the end of the semester. You guys...this semester has been hell. I love my school, love my job, but dealing with both of those simultaneously with the eating disorder and depression has been one of the toughest things I've had to do.

• Oh yeah. Eating disorder. That kind of came back like a bitch this semester. It grabbed hold of me and controlled my every waking thought (which was a lot, since I was only sleeping 2-3 hours each night). And it plunged me into a horrible depression. Oh, you guys, I can't tell you how many days I couldn't get out of bed for the sadness. It was bad.

• Therapy! Therapy helps. It was hard at first, so freaking hard. I was going three times a week, and after each session, I'd leave and just cry and cry. I couldn't keep my head above the water. But slowly, I started feeling more triumphant after therapy sessions. I became reinvigorated to fight the eating disorder.

• Prozac. I never wanted to medicate myself. But when both of my therapists started pushing me to take a leave of absence from school, because I just couldn't function with the eating disorder and depression, I knew I had to do something. So I started about 5 weeks ago, and I'm just starting to see a difference, and I'm so, so grateful.

• It's not all bad! I PROMISE. This semester was/is unbelievably tough, but I have the worlds best friends who held me when I cried and pushed me to get the help I needed. I'm so, so lucky.

Erin sent me the most beautiful quilt that she made. It's gorgeous, and I love snuggling up under it in my cold apartment! I promise to post pictures of it as soon as I get back.

So there you have it. It's been rough, I'm not going to lie. But I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. And right now, as I'm sitting in my living room with my parents, drinking a glass of wine, with Lula the parakeet sitting on my computER WHAT LULA WHY DID YOU POOP ON MY COMPUTER GOOD GRIEF BIRD lkadjshfalskdjfhalsdkjfl.

Well. Harumph. I WAS happy. Now I have to clean up bird poop.

[But it's still all good.]

It's good to be back. I missed you all. XOXO.


Carry me away

Still here. Still surviving. Still buried under mountains of work. Still have a list of blogs to write on my desktop. They're coming. I promise. Someday.




From yesterday's Rally to Restore Sanity (not the D.C. one -- the one here):
sanity 6
Took every bit of strength and control I had not to snatch this baby and run. Because NOM.


Uncle! Uncle!

I have 74,000 things to blog about (seriously, there is a list open on my desktop) and I really really really want to but OH, y'all, one word: MIDTERMS.

What's my name again? Which class am I going to? How often does Severus need to be fed? THESE ARE ALL THINGS THAT I DON'T KNOW RIGHT NOW. My brain is mush. Zuh gah.

So what I'm trying to say is...(whimper moan groan sniffle) I'LL BE BACK as soon as I can remember what century this is.

Hold me.


Update on Wynter:

I got the tattoo pic :)

Wynter tattoo

(By the way, I asked him — he regrets the tattoo. It's a product of a drunken night. Poor Wynter.)


Why I love this city

So tonight I was exhausted and grumpy and exhausted coming home from my 6-9:45 p.m. class and I hadn't been home in 14 hours for the third day in a row and did I mention I was exhausted and grumpy?

As we crossed the river toward my apartment, I caught a glimpse of myself in the subway window. And I decided I'd shoot the picture, post it here, and be all "I'M EXHAUSTED AND GRUMPY BUT LOOK PRETTY LIGHTS!" and call it a day. So here's what I shot:

Crossing the river

See me? I'm the one hiding behind my camera.

Then, just as I'm putting my camera away, this guy comes up to me. "Are you a photographer?" he asked. After I picked myself up off the subway floor after ROFLMAOing, I told him no. Definitely not. But:

"Want the best picture you'll ever make?" he asked.

"Uhhh..." I said.

"No really — want the best picture ever?"

(In my head: this is so sketch-balls WHAT is he talking about?!)


"Here. Take your camera back out."

I feel awful for saying this, but I was half-afraid he was going to steal my camera. But that's kind of ridiculous, because we were IN the moving subway car, and where would he run with it? So I took it back out.

Then he takes his big metal briefcase and wheels it over to a man sitting across from me. The poor man was just trying to read his book, and looked quite startled to see a metal briefcase appear next to him.

"Don't move!" the guy exclaimed. "Keep reading!" Then to me, "Go ahead! Shoot the picture!"


I gaped at him, but then decided to just take a damn picture, thankyouverymuch. So I did. And got this:

F**k it

(I'm twitching, posting this picture online. Ignore the overexposure and too-slow shutter speed!) ANYWAY. I took the picture and looked back up at the guy.

"Isn't that HILARIOUS?" the guy asked.


"Look! Look at the sticker on the briefcase! This man is just sitting here reading a book, and it looks like the briefcase is HIS, and look at the sticker!"

So I squinted and looked at the bumper sticker. In case you can't read it in my blurry picture, it says: "People say I have a bad attitude. I say F*** 'EM!"


I look back at the guy, and he is just so delighted by the whole thing. Like, legitimately delighted that he's created this shot for me. So of course I thank him.

One of the other passengers on the train asks what's in the metal briefcase. And the guy smiles and says, "Barber tools. I'm a barber." And he pulls up the sleeves of his sweatshirt to reveal scissor tattoos on both of his wrists. And then a CLICK, a lightbulb turns on in my brain.

"You're a barber?" I ask.
(Inside my head: SCORE.)

See, I have this assignment due where I have to shoot "a day in the life of...[INSERT NAME OF PERSON WE DON'T KNOW]." And I swear I've called at least 30 people/places trying to find someone cool to shadow, but no luck. But this! This guy may be a bit crazy, but good gravy I at least want to photograph his tattoos!

So we both get off the subway and I pull him aside and explain my assignment. And I basically invite myself to his barbershop on Saturday at 7 a.m. to shoot him throughout the day. And he says, "I'd be honored, baby!" and hands me his card and introduces himself to me as Wynter.

So this Saturday I'm going to photograph a barber named Wynter who I only met because he wanted to help me make the best picture ever on a subway train on a Wednesday night.

God, I love this city.


A mouse mess

So we have mice in our apartment. That's no secret, we've seen the little buggars from time to time in the living room and kitchen.

We originally put out those sticky pad things, but we felt terrible being so inhumane so we took them up. We looked at buying no-kill traps, but DEAR GRACIOUS $15 a pop?! We don't have that kind of money! So we decided to just live in harmony with the mice and hope please jeebus that we don't see them very often.


Yesterday (Saturday) morning, my alarm went off at 4:45 a.m. I had an event at work and needed to be on campus at 6:50 a.m., and boy what they pay me isn't enough to compensate for me getting up that early on a Saturday, but I DIGRESS.


I had gotten up at 4:45, cursed the world and my alarm clock (aka Sasha the iPhone), staggered into the kitchen, made coffee, downed the coffee VERY quickly, French-kissed the coffee pot, showered, and then I was back in my room putting on makeup while watching Thursday's episode of The Office.

And then something caught my eye.

To my right, I saw movement on the floor. I looked over and a MOUSE HAD COME SCURRYING OUT OF MY CLOSET OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

It scared the crap out of me, so I gasped really loudly, which spooked the mouse, WHICH THEN RAN BACK INTO MY CLOSET UNDERNEATH MY CLOTHES OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

Two things:

1) Yes, I'm still grateful mice are not cockroaches. BUT STILL.

2) All my shoes, winter coats, toiletries, scarves, dresses, and storage stuff live in my closet. I don't need those in my life, right?

So basically, here's the deal. I've closed my closet door and taken a vow of Closet Items Abstinence permanently. I can *totally* wear my black suede boots every day for the rest of my life. And I can buy new shampoo! And dresses! And suitcases! And etc.! Right? RIGHT. We're just going to pretend my closet no longer exists. AWESOME.


This is why the internet is a good thing.

Se moved into our apartment about six weeks ago, the people (college kids) who lived here before us left various things behind - a couch, some candles, a few winter coats, etc. Random stuff.

They also left us alcohol in the form of a partially-drunk bottle of Irish cream liqueur and a few beers.

Which, even though they've been in our refrigerator for six weeks now, we've not done anything about. I think we probably just got used to seeing them? And forgot about them?

Until tonight, when we pulled out the bottle of cream liqueur just to check it out. But I was kinda hesitant, because a) we don't know how long it had been open, b) it wasn't ours to begin with, and c) WHAT IF THERE WAS POISON IN IT.

We couldn't decide whether it was sketchy or not. I mean, I thought it was, but two of my lovely and intelligent roommates disagreed. So I did what any rational person would do: asked Twitter for advice!

Here's what I asked (read the bottom one first):


And within like .03 seconds, here's what I got back (read from bottom up):


So I replied:


And then I got (read bottom up):


And this is why I love Twitter. The end.


I'm a slave for you guys

No really, I am. Due to the insane number of texts, tweets, comments, and emails about my Brit-Brit video, I oh-so-graciously decided to make you all another video. I'm just so nice.

Er. Actually, I have a midterm tomorrow, and I reeeeeeally don't want to study for it. So I decided that this was a much better use of my time. I'm totally going to make straight A's this semester.


1) No, I don't know the second part of the first verse. BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE.

2) No, I don't know what to do with my hands. This is why I don't dance, people.

3) Yes, I have glasses. No, I never wear them. Except for late at night when I've been awake for so long that my contacts have turned to shards of glass in my eyes. Is fun!

4) Remind me to post about the sweater I'm wearing in the video. It'll be a good'un.

i want it that way from hallie on Vimeo.


Disclaimer: this post was written after I had 2 cups of coffee.

So I have a deep, dark secret. And oh lord, I know you all are going to JUDGE ME HARDCORE after you read this post. But I'm going to say it anyway.

I love Britney Spears.

There. I said it. It's out for the world to know.

I haven't always loved her. My parents, bless their hearts, kept Brit-Brit and her fellow teenybopper heathens (*ahem* XTINA) out of my sister's and my lives all throughout our childhood. We were so innocent!

And then I came to college. AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.

The most valuable thing I learned my freshman year was the words to Hit Me Baby One More Time. And sophomore year I mastered Oops! I Did It Again. And this year I proudly yell I'M A SLAAAAAAVE! FOR YOU!

(Right now, my parents are reading this and crying. I'm so sorry, mom and dad.)

(Please don't cut me out of your will.)


ANYWAY. Even with my schedule being insane and there being no sleep and lots of work and stress and blah, I still FORCE myself to save a weekend evening for a girl's night. And my roommates and I gather with some of our friends and relax and talk and drink (gasp!) and sing our little hearts out. Any kids of the '90s and '00s reading this? Last night we threw down some Complicated, Sk8er Boi (OH YES), Michelle Branch, Brit-Brit, I Want It That Way...oh, it was glorious.

So here's my embarrassing, fueled-by-two-LARGE-cups-of-coffee present for you, Intranets:

One more time! from hallie on Vimeo.

You're welcome.


P.S. GUESS WHAT! I'm getting free stuff! Once again, I'm working with CSN — I've done a review and two giveaways with them. Time for another review! Obligatory plug: CSN has awesome ottoman coffee table! I'll share what I scored soon! BLOGGING IS AWESOME.


In which I profess my love for teh intranets because you are ALL the bomb diggity

they remind me of baby cabbages

Thank you all a million times over for your support. Honestly, it means so much. I really debated whether or not to post that because so many people are going through SO much worse, and I felt guilty for feeling so low. Anyway!

A while ago on Twitter, Jacki started listing things every day that she was grateful for. I love that, and it's something I need to do more often. So here's my grateful list for today (in no particular order):

1) My cheetah print flats
2) Making the decision to put my homework down tonight, and instead watch trashy TV with my roommates
3) All the love I've received since I first started this blog 3+ years ago. Thank you.
5) Sev, my fish. He's badass.

Also, a bit of happy for any of you Harry Potter uberdorks like myself: the most recent Potter Puppet Pals! Draco likes hoooney. Cannot. stop. laughing.


Coming up for air

My sweet friends,

I've been away from here lately. I've wanted to come and write so many times, but haven't found the words, or the courage, to do so. So I've stayed quiet.

I've been struggling for the past month with my eating. Struggling is an understatement. Eating has consumed me. My every waking moment has been drenched with thoughts of food and cravings that I just can't push away.

The mounting stress of school and work, and going on 2-5 hours of sleep a night (on average), pushed me back into behaviors I don't even want to admit to. All of the progress I'd made this summer fighting this eating disorder went out the window as I surrendered to its pull. I didn't fight. I just gave in. I just existed.

From the moment I woke up until the moment I went to sleep I ate. I couldn't stop. I ate until my stomach ached and I nearly got sick. I ate until I cried just because I couldn't keep my hand from putting food into my mouth. I just couldn't stop.

All of this plunged me into an awful, awful depression. In the past, I've dealt with bad anxiety, so it was unusual for me to deal with depression. Anxiety I can (sort of) handle by now. Depression was new. Oh, it was so awful.

The effort it took to get out of bed in the mornings was enormous. The simple act of showering and dressing myself left me exhausted. I couldn't force myself to do my homework and I can't tell you how many hours I've spent this past month hiding under my covers, just trying to get through that second.

As binging and depression tag-teamed me, I sunk lower and lower. I sobbed on my bed, in my roommates' arms, and (um, today) in the library. The enormity of what it would take to fight away the depression and eating disorder crippled me. I couldn't function. I couldn't do schoolwork, I wasn't doing well at work either.

Last week, I finally made the call for help. I went to see a counselor at my school and spent that hour spilling every fear, anxiety, and eating problem I have. She listened, and promised to help...the next week. I couldn't wait that long. I had no hope. I had no hope. I was just done.

So I continued down a path of physical destruction. (Note: I wasn't ever hurting myself physically. I've had no thoughts of that. This is only eating I'm referring to.) I spent another week drowning in depression and being unable to stop eating. I looked in the mirror and saw the weight I'd gained on my face, in my stomach, my hips. I cried.

Today I went to see another counselor at my school. She saw me, she listened to me. And she was honest with me.

She told me she didn't think I needed inpatient therapy yet.


That stopped me cold. Yet? Inpatient yet? You mean, I'm sick enough that I might need to go to a facility for my eating disorder?! I was so scared that it took every last bit of energy I had to keep listening to her.

She went on to say that she wanted me in intensive outpatient therapy. Seeing her, another eating disorder counselor, a psychiatrist, and attending group therapy weekly. Starting now. She made an appointment for me to see her again in a week, but said that if I felt I needed to come in sooner, to just email her.

I left her office with a handful of therapists to call. And then I went up to the library and cried. Sobbed. Overwhelmed with the beginning of this fight to get better again. Overwhelmed with the strength it'll take that honestly, I don't know if I have.

I cried and cried, called my parents to fill them in, and sent an email out to my professors to make them aware. And then I started to feel this amazing sense of peace.

Peace and calm flooded me. I felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. I'm doing this. I'm getting help. I'm getting better again.

No longer will this eating disorder control me. I can do this. I can fight this. I CAN.

It's going to be a hell of a time reversing the destructive behaviors I've fallen into this past month. But I can do it. I can't do it alone right now, and I know that. I'll be getting the help I need.

In the meantime, I finally feel ready to be back here. Things got so terrible at the end of September that I couldn't bear to come on here and be happy. So I stayed away. I'm more than ready to be back now.

I can do this. I can do this. I can.

I'm getting better.


Coffee me away


Did you know I'm going? What's that? You could tell by the dark circles under my eyes that can now be seen from outer space? GOTCHA.


No really, school is awesome and I love it here so much. It's just thaZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzTHUNK.

OH HELLO, WALL OF EXHAUSTION! I just ran into you!

Yup, the fatigue is here. Hardcore. Which basically means that I have a new boyfriend and his name is The Coffepot.

Oh, y'all.

I'm head-over-heels for the little black machine that serves me legal addictive stimulants every morning. LUFF. EET.

Seriously: here's how I wake up.

• Sasha the magical iPhone's alarm goes off in the form of an old car horn (my roommates LOVE me!): [AROOOOOGA. AROOOOOGA. AROOOOGA.]

• Me: [reach over, grab Sasha, resist throwing her across the room, and set 5 more minutes on the alarm.]

• Sasha's alarm goes off in the form of an old car horn 5 minutes later: [AROOOOOGA. AROOOOOGA. AROOOOGA.]

• I curse the world, sit up, put in my contacts, feed Sev the fish, and stagger to the kitchen. Then I turn on the coffee pot and stand bleary-eyed waiting for it to make. Slash fall asleep at the kitchen table until I hear the three most glorious sounds known to man: beep! beep! beep!


• Then I pour myself a laaarge cup, add an ice cube, take a few sips, and turn into a human being. YAY.

All I'm sayin', y'all, is that if whoever first realized that coffee was a thing and mass-marketed it walked through my door, I'd marry him or her on the spot.

I just hope whoever it is is okay with me also marrying Sasha's white noise app. Cause otherwise things could get AWKWARD.


Packed purse

So the purse that I carry around is a pretty good size. I'm addicted to big purses. Like, I can't imagine carrying around a smaller one. Where would I hide three changes of clothes JUST IN CASE I ever need them???

Big purses are so not hip right now. My big ol' bag is SO two years ago. But you know what? I WEAR IT PROUDLY. Stop laughing at me.


I'm always curious to know what's in other people's purses. If I show you mine, will you show me yours? Pretty please?

The bag itself is a Chanel knock-off I got in New York back in March. Oh, y'all, if you think the purse is ugly, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT. I almost got kidnapped buying the damn thing. Almost.


Here's what's in my purse today:
• my wallet
• 2 checkbooks (one is from an old bank...I should take that out. Hmm.)
• a mirror
• contact solution and case
• 2 containers of eye drops (huh. should take one of those out, too.)
• strips that take the oily stuff off your face (sexy!)
• today's New York Times
• today's Metro (hey, I'm a journo junkie. OF COURSE I have two newspapers in my purse.)
• a notepad
• my calendar
• my ID and subway pass
• Sasha Fierce, the magical iPhone
• ear buds
• a little pack of gift cards
• 6 dice (gotta entertain myself somehow!)
• lip gloss
• a small notebook
• my water bottle
• change purse

What you didn't see: a quadzillion old receipts that I threw out and lots of spare change.

All in all, not too bad, eh? It used to be heavier. When I nannied, I'd carry around at least one extra diaper, crayons, bottles, snacks, etc. And when I worked for my pimp, there were condoms and a pleather dominatrix suit. KIDDING, mom and dad! Just making sure you were reading!

If you post somewhere about what's in your purse, let me know! I'm nosy!


Toys R Us

So for my photojournalism class, I had to take pictures in a cool, fun, place of my choosing.

So...what better place to shoot than a sex toy shop? Especially one that specializes in gothic dom fantasies?

Let me just tell you: it was awesome. Here's the only "appropriate" picture I could show you (that didn't have non-nanny-blog-friendly items in it)...

Edit: Uh, yeah, the picture does have non-nanny-blog-friendly items in it. Oops.

P.S. I *way* overexposed for this pic, so ignore the quality! I'm too lazy to go edit it :)


Sasha to the rescue (again)

So my new apartment is across the river from DreamSchool — so I'm no longer RIGHT in the downtown city area.

This means two things:

1) Mumble grumble commute mumble grumble. (Actually, it's not that bad. I just like to exaggerate. I know, you're shocked!)

2) It's sososososososoSO quiet.

Now. I don't know about you, but I'm one of those people who can't fall asleep if it's dead quiet in the room. And here, in my apartment, it's DEAD QUIET at night. Like, you can hear a pin drop dead quiet.

[Unless the guys next door are having a wild party for Thirsty Thursday. Or Wasted Wednesday. Or Tipsy Tuesday. They like to celebrate these things, people.]


Usually in Texas I have a fan going to provide a bit of white noise. But it's too chilly (OMG I KNOW) to do that here. So one night, unable to sleep because I could hear my fish Sev swimming around in his bowl (THAT MEANS IT'S TOO QUIET, PEOPLE), I begged my little Sasha Fierce for help.

And she came through for me: a white noise app. For free.

Here is where I kneel down and kiss the very ground I'm on. MOMMY LOVES YOU, SASHA.

So that night, I fell asleep to the lovely sounds of white noise. But then GUESS WHAT: I started playing around with the app, and discovered it has like a zillion different noises on it! Like trains! And waves on a beach! And a grandfather clock!


I'm not even kidding. I can hear a nice thunderstorm as I fall asleep every night now. This has made me indescribably happy.

Sasha, my love: even though you won't let me play Words with Friends now that I've updated you to 4.0.1, which is annoying as heck, I FORGIVE YOU. Because THUNDERSTORMS AS I FALL ASLEEP.

This is true love.


I got this

So I know I just posted an early morning picture of pretty sun-kissed buildings to kind of convince myself that YES, I should still get up early to go to the gym...but HERE'S ANOTHER.

Why? Because oh man, I really want to skip the gym in the morning. Because I'm tired and cranky.

Self: if you go to the gym tomorrow, you could see this...

PJ light 2
(taken around 8 a.m., after I finished the gym one day)


Matty and Bobby kiss

All day today I checked in to watch Matty and Bobby on their quest to break the world's longest continuous kiss record.

AKA they would have to kiss for OVER 32 hours, 7 minutes, and 14 seconds. Straight. With no breaks. Bathroom or otherwise.

They started yesterday morning, and were set to break the record around 8:30 tonight. And around 8:30 tonight, I was on the commuter rail train cursing my spotty internet connection but GLUED to the screen.

Because y'all? They were amazing. Two boys from New Jersey, vowing to kiss continuously for over 32 HOURS in order to raise awareness for LGBTQ issues.

And...they did it. They broke the record. Thousands of people were watching the live feed as they did it. Thousands of people united to support LGBTQs.

I got chills. Change is coming, you guys, I just know it. One day SOON everyone will be allowed to get married, and adopt babies, and hold jobs, and live their lives without fear or discrimination. One day SOON there won't be classifications for sexual orientation and everyone will be able to just love who they WANT to love.

Until that day, I will fight for equal rights for all people on earth. I will fight so that my kids one day won't be afraid to be true to who they really are. I will fight so that this world becomes a more just and fair place for everyone to live.

I hope something changed tonight when two boys broke a world record for the longest continuous kiss. Because as Matty and Bobby's website says, "After years of fighting bigotry and discrimination, it's time to put down our words and demonstrate otherwise. When there's nothing left to say, say it with a kiss."


6:35 a.m.

Monday through Friday I leave my apartment by 6:20 a.m. I catch the 6:30 train into the city to get to the gym. Not going to lie, that kinda sucks...but:

PJ light 3
The view from the subway as we cross the river. Makes it all worth it.


Oho! Back in the saddle, yo

So I'm writing this at 11:37 p.m. on a Wednesday night and Y'ALL: school. It's started again. Like, we're in the swing of things now.

I'm taking four classes: a news editing and design class, a photojournalism class, an investigative reporting class, and a class on American women writers. I'm also working about 20 hours a week. I'm also buried neck-deep in homework and GAH HALP CAN'T FIGHT MY WAY OOOOUUUUTTT!!!

I'm also averaging 4 hours of sleep per night. Last night I got 3 hours and 45 minutes of sleep. Is fun. Wheeeee!

Here's the thing, though: I haven't hit the exhaustion wall. No, really. I have SO much energy...it's kind of ridiculous.

I'm waiting, though. I know when I least expect it, WHAMMO! FATIGUE! And I'll keel over and start snoring and drooling on the floor of the subway system and then the cops will arrest me because they think I'm drunk and I'll have to beg my way out of a night in the slammer with my puppy dog eyes and fabulous cleavage.

[Er...somethingsomething. Maybe I'm more tired than I thought. Maybe I shouldn't be writing blog posts this late. OR DOING HOMEWORK. But whatevs. It'll be fine. I'm sure. How do you spell "journalism" again?]

But for now, I am woman, hear me Not Yawn! I'm up til 1:30 or 2 (or 2:30...) doing homework, my alarm goes off at 6, I chug massive amounts of coffee (huh. Maybe that's the reason for the lack of exhaustion) and I am good. to. GO, y'all.

[Also: do you know what is delicious and not at all giving me a sugar high right now? CANDY.]


One of the things on my massively long to-do list is to do a proper update on my new apartment. (Hint: we still have mice. And OH HOLY SHIZZNIT THAT HAD BETTER NOT BE A FRUIT FLY.) So that is coming. In the meantime, here's my bedside table!

PJ light 5

One of the other things on my massively long to-do list is sleep. (Hint: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LIKE THAT'LL EVER HAPPEN.) I crack myself up.


Story time!

Okay, boys and girls! We're going to have story time! Ready? Here we go!

Once upon a time...there were five girls who moved into their first apartment. They were SO EXCITED! They couldn't wait for the independence and space. It was awesome.

So on Wednesday, they moved in. And it was almost 100 degrees outside and they discovered that their apartment had no air conditioning. Whee! So they sweated and they sweated and they nearly melted their house down.

On Thursday night, one of the girls spied a MOUSE running in and out of her room! And all five girls then started squealing and running around and tweeting things like "[EXPLETIVE REDACTED] [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] MICE!!!"

On Friday, their landlord came over with sticky mouse traps. Yum, yum!

On Saturday, their dishwasher broke. The girls had to ROUGH IT washing everything by hand. How terrible!

On Sunday and Monday, one of the girls decided to paint her room. Oh my, WHAT an adventure! Next time she should paint before she moves in furniture, the silly girl. What a life lesson!

On Tuesday, SCHOOL STARTED! Can you say "buried under mountains of homework," boys and girls? GOOD JOB!

On Wednesday, the girls got a new dishwasher from their fantastic landlord.

On Friday, the new dishwasher broke. Back to hand-washing for the girls! Life is SO hard.

On Saturday, their fantastic landlord fixed their new dishwasher. Phew! But on Saturday night, another mouse was spotted. UH OH! And one of the washing machines wouldn't work! And there was the strong (still unknown) smell of something electrical burning!

On Saturday late in the evening, the girls started to wonder if apartment life just wasn't for them. They were pretty discouraged and tired. But then, the Perspective Fairy came to visit!

The Perspective Fairy showed them another friend's apartment. That friend has no dishwasher, mice, and FRUIT FLIES EVERYWHERE. And the girls felt better.

Then the girls opened wine and felt better after that.

Then the girls had fried eggs (for some) and veggie burgers (for others) as a midnight snack and felt ALL BETTER.

Then they all went to bed with visions of sugerplums dancing in their heads. And then woke up on Sunday and realized OH HOLY CRAP HOMEWORK and then they all cried!


*This post is brought to you by I Haven't Slept Much At All Lately, and I Really Should Be Doing Homework So This Is The Best I Can Do Right Now. No Really.



So I was out taking pictures of boring trees for my photojournalism class and then I saw this movement out of the corner of my eye and there was this thing on the tree a foot away from me so I turned and snapped a picture and OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS LOOK:


*Total* accident. *TOTALLY* made my day.


MUCH better

So I'm sitting in my freshly-painted *very* stinky room. And heaving a sigh of relief that ZOMG THE PAINTING IS DONE and also thinking that I WILL NEVER PAINT ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. Because OY.

Pro tip, y'all: if you're going to paint your bedroom, do it before you've moved all your furniture, books, clothes, and knickknacks in.

Also: if you've just painted a wall, it's probably not the best idea to lean up against it.


BUT. IT IS DONE. THE PAINTING IS FINISHED. My walls are a happy yellow, and this room feels more like home. We're just going to ignore the blotches of yellow on the ceilings and baseboards. And the strips of white around the outlets and bookshelves. 'K? 'K.

One last tip: painting in a dress? Is probably not the smartest idea I've ever had.

I'm so modest.

P.S. It's the first day of school today! 1) WHERE DID SUMMER GO and 2) JUNIOR YEAR I'M SKEERED.


A bit better!

I'm not going to lie...it was a rough few days moving into the apartment. It's across the river from DreamSchool, and while I know the area, it just wasn't "home" yet. And GAH unpacking and stress and arranging and decorating and eating and blah, blah, blah.


Things are better now!

I moved in Wednesday. And Friday night I had a heart-to-heart with one of my roomies and we talked about how she was feeling the same way. And then we went back to campus and reunited with another friend and ate Ben & Jerry's fro-yo. And that helped.

And then Saturday morning happened and I woke up and it was bright and sunny and beautiful, and I scored a cool picture frame and wooden basket at Goodwill for $2.10, and I had an *amaaaaazing* evening. And that helped.

And then Sunday happened and I BECAME A FISH MOMMY AGAIN and decided to paint my room and that HELPED.

So I'd like to introduce you all to my new little boy. His name is Severus. I call him my little Sevie-poo.

Severus seems to like the wine bottles. He always swims close to them. Like mommy, like fish!

So this is becoming more like home. And it's good. And I'm happy. And I'll post painting updates later because wow! Ceilings are tall! And oy! Paint is hard to get off hardwood floors! Ha! Ha ha! My dad is reading this and twitching because I ONLY USED DROP CLOTHS IN A FEW PLACES AND THEN GOT LAZY!

Okay. Now I'm back to catching up on the Internet because I've been mostly offline for 2 days and dear jeebus, people, 7,404,231 blogs and tweets to read!


A bit wilted

withering heights

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
“I will try again tomorrow.”

—Mary Anne Radmacher

I've needed this quote lately. I need to permanently imprint it into my my mind. If we just take deep breaths and baby steps, we'll all come out just fine. We're all in this together.


Winner winner giveaway dinner!

So it's 11:55 p.m. and I've been unpacking for nearly 14 hours straight and I'm not done and my room is a HOT MESS, y'all: but I promised a giveaway winner, and dammit, we're going to pick a giveaway winner!

The winner of the $45 CSN giveaway is.........





Congratulations, Crystal! Email me and I'll get you hooked up with CSN!

And now I'm back to COLLAPSING. If I go to sleep now, will the Boxes Fairy come unpack everything for me and put it away perfectly? She will, right? Right? *whimper*


August sky

This was taken through the windshield of our rented minivan while we were dropping my sister off at school. The sky was *unbelievably* gorgeous that day. If only we'd had time to stop the car and let me take proper pictures but NOOOOOO, *SOMEONE* WANTED TO GO SET UP HER DORM ROOM. JEESH.

clouds were *unbelievable*


So we have a doggy door coming out our house into our backyard. And pupster Max is very well trained to use it.

So one day, I crept out into the backyard, positioned myself on the steps leading down from our deck with my camera, and yelled MAX! MAX! COME OUTSIDE, MAX!

And oh lordy, he came *flying* out the doggy door.

The result?



My new baby

So I'm taking a photojournalism class this semester, and the professor *strongly* recommended we invest in our own DSLR cameras. Which is HOLY JEEBUS THAT'S A LOTTA MONEY. Ack!

But I took as many side babysitting jobs as I could to save up, and stalked Amazon and a few other sites looking for major DSLR sales all summer, and finally in early August: JACKPOT. A Canon Rebel XS, refurbished, with a 90-day warranty, at a seriously reasonable price. Boom. Love.

Here's my new baby...

hocus focus

Now if only I could figure out all these fancy-pants buttons. I guess that means I should *SIGH* RTFM, as my dad would say.

(RTFM = READ THE FREAKIN' MANUAL. You have to read that with an exasperated voice, by the way.)

In mah happy place

I'm here and OMG how has it been 4 days since I was on here??? and I'm here I'm here I'M HERE!!!!!!!

Happy. Happy. Happy.

After an insane week of flying all of us up north to get my sister settled in her new school (!!!) (OMG how is my baby sister old enough for COLLEGE???) and getting her settled and finally yesterday making the 11-hour drive up to DreamSchool city we're finally here!!!

I'm so happy. And so so sooooo exhausted. But happy!!!

I met up with some friends today, found a few apartment knickknacks and wine glasses at Goodwill for cheap (score!) and now I'm about get on the train to head back to the hotel we're staying in until I move into my apartment. Tomorrow is more furniture shopping because have I mentioned I still need a headboard, footboard, desk, desk chair, stuffed chair, rug, mirror, and more bookshelves? HA HA I DO AND OH I'M BROKE WHEEEEEE!

But oh, you guys: I just love this city so much. I'm almost disgustingly happy. I just love. this. so. much. Remind me of this when I'm knee-deep in paper-writing and under four feet of snow!

Okay I'm off to catch my train, but i'm going to post PICTURE OVERLOAD tonight. Sorry in advance!


A giveaway, a giveaway, a giveaway!

So right now I'm very busy NOT packing even though we're leaving the house in less than 11 hours and oh my dear jeebus I think my dad might stroke out if I don't start soon.

But Daddy! 11 hours! PLENTY OF TIME!

I digress.

Anyway, I have another suh-weeeeet CSN giveaway for you lovely people! Just in case you weren't aware, CSN offers dining tables. Thanks, CSN! (end obligatory plug)

Today I'm giving away a $45 CSN gift card. Now. If *I* had the $45 to spend, I'd spend it on these two beauties:


You can get both of those things for less than $45! Both! For less than $45! Can you say "Nanny has a new apartment to furnish and she's been shopping around!", boys and girls?

So! Want to win this lovely $45 gift card?


***please leave the correct number of comments for EACH entry -- for example, if you follow my blog, leave THREE comments, not just one***

1) Tell me: if you could paint your bedroom walls ANY color, which color would you choose? Or...if you could have one pair of shoes for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, what would they be? (MANDATORY. 1 entry)

2) Follow me on Twitter @theonlinenanny (3 entries) (if you already do follow, you count too! leave three comments for that)

3) Follow my blog publicly! (3 entries) (if you already do follow, you count too! leave three comments for that)

4) Blog about this giveaway (and let me know that you do) (3 entries)

By my calculations, that's 16 zillion ways to enter. You guys have until Wednesday, September 1 at 6 p.m. to enter. I'll announce the winner on the blog, and he/she has 48 hours to email me to claim his/her prize -- or a new winner will be chosen. Aaaaaand GO!

P.S. Disclaimer — I wasn't given anything for this giveaway, or compensated in any way, shape, or form. I'm doing this because I love you all more than life itself. And because CSN contacted me to see if I wanted to do a giveaway. Also, I've worked with CSN before. Remember my AWESOME lamp??? And this giveaway

P.P.S. If you come help me pack, I'll give you 47 extra entries! Please? Please? Pleeeease???


Packing's for the birds

So I officially leave in two (GASP) *TWO* days!


Seriously, this summer flew by in the blink of an eye. It's August? Nearly September? What the heck happened to June?!?!?

Anyway, I've shipped up all my books, and a few odds and ends, and all that's left to pack is ohholygoodness all my clothes and everything else. HALP.

So tomorrow I'm going to be burying myself in clothes and packing and not sleeping and why am I moving, again? Oh yeah! COLLEGE! Year three at DreamSchool (how has it been two full years already?!), ready or not, HERE I COME.

Anyhoo, here's a lovely picture to distract you from the nothingness of this post. And FYI, I'll be putting up another CSN giveaway on Tuesday, so look for that :) yay! free stuff!

I can't take credit for this picture. My sister took it. But on my camera! So...I win, right?


Hot hot hot

So this morning I did something I've never done before.


You know, the kind where they crank the heat up to 98 degrees and you have to be all flexible and stretchy and balanced and stuff.

(Hi! I'm Nanny, and I dislike heat, and am not flexible, stretchy or balanced! Woot!)

Y'all, I was scared. I did weekly yoga when I was a freshman in high school, but that was I'M NOT TELLING HOW MANY years ago. Let's just say it's been a while.

Oh, and did I mention this was a 6 a.m. class? HA. HA HA.

I only went because I love the person who dragged me to it. And because yeah, I've been curious about it for a while. And because sweating! it burns calories! And lord knows I need to lose me some calories!

So I set my alarm for 5 a.m., woke up, cursed the world (quietly, since I was sharing a room with Jenny's daughter Maggie) for the earlyness of it all, and headed off with Jenny to meet Kara and Jacki.

Let me just tell you: walking into the heated room? Rather anticlimactic. Y'all, I live in Texas. 98 degrees is a cool summer day. So the heat? No big. And at that point, after I walked in and realized the heat wasn't as scary as I thought, I told myself, "Nanny? YOU. GOT. THIS." And I smugly walked over, got a mat and a towel, and waited for the surely easy-peasy yoga to start.

Ha! HA HA!

I'm just so adorably naive, aren't I?

Now in the interest of honesty, the class wasn't all that hard. There were some poses and things we did that I *loved.* And there were some poses and things we did that I *hated* and I begged the yoga gods for mercy lest my trembling legs give out from underneath me and I collapse on the floor in a pool of my own sweat and tears. But overall? GOOD. Very good.

And I left yoga chugging water and feeling pretty damn good about myself. And vowing to sign up for more classes before I leave for DreamSchool (SO SOON). And patting myself on the pack.

Until tonight, when allofasudden I felt like a train had run over me.

SERIOUSLY, yoga?! Good thing I like you. Because I can hardly move.


Addicted to the ink and paper

A few things:

1) I realize now I shouldn't have had music on while the camera was rolling. Pay no attention to my weird musical taste.

2) Hi, boobs!

3) The books are all down now. I kid you not: when my dad took the first few books off my shelf, I started crying. I KNOW.

4) That's not even all of my books. I shipped 60 lbs of books up to my dorm room freshman year. Now I'm sending the rest up (180 extra lbs). Yay for shipping media mail!

5) I got a haircut today. I'm not sure what I think. If you love it, tell me. If you hate it, pleasedon'ttellmeI'llcryforhours. I'm a delicate flower.


Eats shoots leaves

I know it's practically fall, but this picture from last week makes me think of the first buds of spring. And it makes me so happy. Because hello, spring = March which = my birthday which = AWE.SOME.


Judge me, judge me, say that you judge me

So about 3 weeks ago, I joined a dating website.

[Go ahead and laugh. I'll wait.]

BUT: let me explain the reasons why I joined. Because they're good, I promise. 1) It was free. 2) Two friends joined and they peer-pressured me into joining. Yeah for peer pressure! 3) I'm pathetically desperate. and 4) IT WAS FREE.

So I signed myself up using a pseudonym, answered a few lame-o questions, and put up a picture of my owl-tattooed shoulder. No real identifying information, no face shots, I'M BEING CAREFUL, MOM AND DAD.

And then I promptly forgot about the account. Until.


I started getting messages. And hoo-boy, y'all, I got excited. People! Were messaging me! PEOPLE WERE MESSAGING ME! So I excitedly clicked over to my account and read the first one. And y'all: it. was. epic.

Headline: That owl
Message: is f***ing awesome.

Oh, you guys. I got weak at the knees. The way to a girl's heart is complimenting her tattoo!

Then I eagerly clicked onto the next message. Everyone, meet Epic Message #2.

Headline: handsome professor?
Message: hi (screen name) I liked your profile pic-interesting and very cute! I am a tall and fit professor, 46, live in (city). I am looking for friends or lovers, depending on how we match. If this sounds good, and you also liked my profile, please say hi and I will send pics- James

James, oh JAMES. (P.S. I edited out my screen name & city. That's what the blurs are.)

I was all set to tell James I was fully available to become his naughty schoolgirl mistress that night, UNTIL I heard that my good friend Kelly had gotten the exact same message from James after *she* signed up for that dating website.


So I clicked onto message #3, which I got a few days later.

Headline: Heyyyyy
Message: ever had a [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]?

MISTAKE. Y'all, you're welcome for censoring.

To be fair, I've met a few great, funny people on that site. And while I don't know if I'll ever meet them in real life (because Hi! I'm paranoid!), it's been fun to chat and e-flirt.

(Though there is this one *amazing* guy who I *really* like and who is *really* funny and *really* adorable and he is going to be in *Scotland* for the next *year* doing an exchange program and *EFF YOU, SCOTLAND!*)

But before I sign off this post, I just want to leave you with Nanny's Quick Tips List for Internet Dating:

1) Please compliment me and my tattoo.
2) Please don't send multiple people (ESPECIALLY MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO KNOW EACH OTHER) the same message.
3) Please don't send me the measurements of your genitals. Please and thank you.
4) Please don't be adorable and smart and funny and then leave for Scotland.

The end!


T-minus 13 days...

...until I am back up north.

And t-minus 20 days until I MOVE INTO MY NEW APARTMENT.

So right about now, I'm bouncing around excitedly, procrastinating packing (um, of course), rereading Harry Potter for the quadzillionth time, having fun visiting family, and dreaming about how my new apartment is going to look.

Picture this, y'all:

antique cherry wood furniture set — bed, dressers, desk

crisp white pillows and sheets, with a pretty blue duvet cover

dried flowers everywhere

art covering the walls

books everywhere

a large, overstuffed chair in the corner for my reading nook

a knitting corner, filled to the brim with soft yarn

a soft rug on the floor

sunlight streaming through the window, a warm summer day

Can you picture it? Isn't it lovely? Isn't it peaceful?

Now. Daydreams meet reality: Broke College Kid edition!

So far, for my new apartment, I have:

-a duvet cover (pretty blue)
-a few pictures for the wall
-74,000 books.

And that's it.

I mean, I've got my books, so color me happy. But a bed might be nice. And a dresser? Or a mirror or two? All things that, y'know, would be a nice addition.

So today I went browsing around this quaint little town I'm in visiting family. And I was on a mission to find furniture for my apartment. A desk. A dresser. A bed. A chair.

And then I looked at price tags, fainted, had to be revived, and realized that sleeping on the floor in my new apartment is starting to look like a pretty damn good option.

Though I did find two sweet little trinkets at an antique store, just perfect to be tucked away in a sweet little corner.

So when I'm lying on a bed of books, looking around my new home, at least I'll have some pretty things to see.


Life's a beach

I had every intention today about writing a post about how I joined a dating website, but...this is my view at this very second:

I'm going to shut down the computer and go and play!


It was owlstanding

So the other night, I was driving home from babysitting around 10:45 at night. And as I was driving along this semi-quiet road outside of a neighborhood, I saw something in the road in front of me.

At first I thought it was a lump of trash. But as I (slowly) got closer, I could see that it was most definitely NOT trash.

It was...

(Excuse the crappy cell phone picture. Lemme zoom in for you. Which probably won't help.)

Can you tell what that is? Can you? Because ZOMG, y'all: IT WAS AN OWLET.



I honestly couldn't believe my eyes. I stopped my car, and tried to get a good cell phone picture, but I of course couldn't because it was dark and crappy cell phone pictures and blah blah blah. And then they flew away. But it was so cool.


You're welcome in advance

Sam, my sweet nanny girl, has been telling me after meals lately how great a cook I am. And since I'm all about a little ego-stroking, I thought I'd post my Super Secret World-Famous Nanny Recipes so you all can enjoy them too.

You're welcome!

Nanny's Super Secret World-Famous Toasted PB&J!

-2 pieces of bread, any type (the kids like honey wheat)
-peanut butter
-jelly, any type (the kids like grape)

1) Toast bread until light golden brown.
2) Spread peanut butter over one piece of bread. Make sure the top of the bread is fully covered in peanut butter. Nobody likes crust with no peanut butter on it!
3) Spread jelly over other piece of bread. Make sure the top of the other piece of bread is fully covered in jelly. Nobody likes crust with no jelly on it!
4) Slice, any way. Sam typically likes four triangles, Ben typically likes four squares.
(optional) 5) Remove crusts. And then feed them to the dogs. And/or yourself.

[Note: I actually love a good toasted pb&j. With dill pickles inside. Don't judge, y'all.]

Nanny's Super Secret World-Famous Banana Ice Cream*!

*note: this is not actually ice cream.

-1 banana
-1 freezer

1) Peel banana. Place in a ziploc bag. Place ziploc bag in freezer.
2) Wait several hours until banana is frozen.
3) Take banana out of the freezer. Mash well.
(optional) 4) Pour melted Nutella over mashed banana.

[Note: this is actually really freaking good. With or without the Nutella. A great substitute for ice cream!]

And my most famous recipe? The one the kids love the most?

Nanny's Super Secret World-Famous Pizza!

-1 frozen pizza

1) Preheat oven.
2) Place pizza in oven. Let cook.
3) Remove pizza from oven. Slice, and serve.
(optional) 4) Run screaming from the cheesy mess the toddler has managed to make.

[Note: this recipe is especially difficult.]

So there you have it! My three most-loved nannykid recipes. I know, I know, my talent is out. of. this. WORLD. And, y'know, curtsey.



So if you know me at all, you know that I'm a Harry Potter dork. Like, a *supreme* dork. Like, it's a little embarrassing.

(Please don't judge me.)

(Okay, you can judge me. BUT PLEASE DON'T STOP LOVING ME.)

So I was beyond excited to go to a Harry Potter Party yesterday! On Harry's actual birthday! Happy 30th, Harrykins!

It was hosted by the lovely Moi (that's her Twitter name — it wasn't hosted by me), and Txnewsprincess, BeckyMochaFace and JeremyHerbel attended. And y'all: we dorked. it. up.

It was magical.

We had butterbeer, cauldron cakes, chips and dip, and a snitch cake. OH HELLS TO THE YES, y'all, I MADE A SNITCH CAKE.


I know. Sometimes I'm just in awe of my own raw talent.

We watched the first three movies and dissected any inconsistencies between the movies and the books. And the books and the books. And oh my dear jesus, it was so nice to be in the company of ubernerds like myself. I felt so...so...at home! Comfortable! Like I could be myself and admit that I really really hate the epilogue in the 7th book!

Oh, you guys: it was nerdy heaven.

And the best part? We have part 2 of #Potterthon planned for just a few weeks from now. CANNOT. WAIT.


A weighty update!

(This is kind of, sort of, part deux to my other weight post.)

First, I want to thank you for your sweet comments. I *know* I'm not the only one out there who struggles. And it is so freaking hard no matter what type of eating you struggle with.

One thing I've been mediating on lately (brought on by the group therapy I've been going to) is the concept of black-and-white thinking. i.e., "I ate an entire bag of potato chips today. That basically means that today is ruined eating-wise."

I'm very, very, VERY guilty of thinking like that. If I trip up, or binge, I get so angry and upset with myself that my whole day is thrown off. And maybe the next day, too. And the next.

But what's important to remember is that life isn't black and white. Life is a gigantic grey area. And so is eating. If I ate an entire bag of potato chips today, yeah, that wasn't the best decision, but the day wasn't a complete failure because I did have a really healthy breakfast. That's a positive.

No day, or task, or meal is a complete failure. It's just impossible. Somehow, somewhere, is a positive thing that happened, no matter how small. And that moves you back into the grey area, and out of black and white.

When I beat myself up for overeating, I just have to remember the good things I did that day, as well. That I did have a few positives, no matter how small. And cling to those. And remind myself that tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate, and a time to start over.

I have up days and down days. I have days where I do feel like a complete and total failure with my eating, health, and body. But getting through this journey is a process, and I have to remind myself to take baby steps. Every positive day I have is a step closer to feeling comfortable and confident with my control of eating again.


"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

YES. This is exactly it, exactly what we all need to drain into our heads.

I'm thinking about all of you, out there, if you're struggling with food or eating in any capacity. I'm here if you need me, okay? We got this!



Sam, Ben and I were playing a game (in which they were golden bats and I was their owner) the other day, and Coco was off doing her own thang. And she was quiet. Which usually means DROP EVERYTHING! FIND THE TODDLER! MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT ON THE ROOF!

I peeked into her room and saw this...

MELT. MY. HEART. She was just sitting there, in her little rocking chair, reading an upside-down book. Love.


Oh yeah, I'm still a nanny

I know I haven't been posting as many pics of Sam, Ben & Coco as I did last summer. And the main reason for that?

Coco is mobile.


Last summer she could crawl, but it's nothing on her walking. Girlfriend can be out of my sight and causing mischief (climbing on top of the piano, getting into the pantry, taking off her diaper, etc.) within half a second. So if I take time to pull out my phone? or my camera? SHE'S GONE. And the contents of the refrigerator are strewn about the house.

Plus I honestly don't like having my phone when I'm with the kids. Because it's too big a temptation to check Twitter every few minutes, or play Words With Friends — and that's not fair for them, me being distracted. I don't want them to think they're second to Sasha.

So, all of this to say: I dug through my phone's camera, and here are the only two recent pics I have of the kids.

Kids + 3D glasses = AWESOME entertainment. Coco + 3D movie = BAD. IDEA.

(Actually, she was pretty good. I normally don't like taking kids her age to see movies, because it's not fair to a 21-month-old to have to sit still for 2 hours and it's not good for brain development and blah blah blah, but we *had* to get out of the house and it was 439 degrees outside so we couldn't go swimming or to the park. And we went early and the theater was empty so she could roam around. Consequently, I have *no* idea what Despicable Me is about.)

(Sam and Ben liked it, though!)

At the park. The three of them l-o-v-e-d the tire swing. And I was able to snap a picture because look! Coco is contained!

Love these three kids SO. MUCH.


Pro tip:

When the doctors give you pain meds after you get your wisdom teeth out, TAKE THEM WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO.

You're welcome. Carry on.


At first I was afraid, I was petrified...


That's right, y'all: I am now down four wisdom teeth. And up a few painkillers. Life is goooooood.

Except I failed at first. Because I got to the oral surgeon's and then realized I'd only taken one of the pills pre-surgery — I was supposed to have taken a pain killer AND an antibiotic. And then I found out that I shouldn't have been drinking water today. OOPS!

(Dude: you try being outside in skinny jeans and a scarf (fashion is pain!) and sweating buckets for several hours. I WAS THIRSTY.)

But anyway. They let me do the surgery in spite of my failures. Thank you, good doctors!

I slept through the whole procedure (blame that on waking up at 5:15 this AM and running around on the playground after Sam, Ben, and Tasmanian Devil (I MEAN COCO) for a while this morning), but woke up immediately once it was done. I took a nap when I got home, but have been awake and alert since then.

(Except I do remember telling my parents that I just felt really drunk after the surgery was over and when I tried to walk. Uh. I mean, I don't know what being really drunk feels like, mom and dad. I was guessing. SWEAR.)

HOWEVER: I am on painkillers. Wheeee! I usually go crazy-hyper on painkillers, and right now my heart is thump-thump-thumping, but I can't seem to move from the couch. Except to get more gauze to stuff back in my mouth. IS FUN.

And only because I'm feeling so good and nice and kind, I'll post a picture. This was taken about three minutes after I woke up from the sedation. And about four minutes after the surgery finished. I especially like the stoned-eyes-look and the big white ice pack wrapped 'round my face. And the swelling. I. AM. ZEXAY.