Tips from a tour guide!

Tonight, as I was waiting for a lecture to start, I couldn't stop thinking about work (I work in DreamSchool's admissions office). Y'all, we see some pretty ridiculous things there from our applicants. So while I was bored and waiting, I decided to compile a list of Nanny's Don't's While You Apply To College!

1) When you fill out applications or inquiry cards, please write in nice handwriting. I spent the better part of this afternoon squinting at an inquiry card that I could have sworn said "Dicnci" which turned out to be "Diana."

2) Before you come on tour, or write to us, or call us, or (most importantly) apply to our school, please make sure we have the majors you're interested in. DreamSchool does not have biology. No, it doesn't. That's why we didn't talk about it on tour, sir. Oh, and it's not the tour guide's fault DreamSchool doesn't have biology. Now you have a nice day.

3) When you email us, for pete's sake: use correct grammar! Capitalize words! Use spell check! I love to use the word 'srsly' as much as the next person, but if I'm emailing the school I want to get into, I'm going to spell it out. Srsly.

4) On the topic of emails: y'all. You would NOT believe some of the email addresses we've gotten. Today as I was entering new prospective students into our database, one of the girl's email addresses was "hottchiiick." Really? Hottchiiick? That's fine for your personal use, really -- but for college, howsabout something a bit less promiscuous? Same goes for gratuitous x's and numbers. Like xxxhottiewithabottie482390284xxx@whatever.com.

5) And more email etiquette: when you email a college, make sure you're emailing the CORRECT one. No, we're not Brandeis. Or NYU. Our name sounds nothing like either of those schools. Really.

6) When you're on tour, it's basic courtesy: don't text. Or talk on the phone. Please. Parents, you too. I, no joke, had a dad field a phone call from another college that he was setting up a tour with. WHILE ON MY TOUR. OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT, SIR.

And there you have it. Follow those rules and you're instantly admitted! Congratulations!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Student Admissions Employee

P.S. I'm giving several tours on Halloween. Any ideas for an office-appropriate, yet hilarious, costume?


Anonymous said...



dang it that was me.

so i'm not getting in to dreamschool?

-tu hermana

The Nanny said...

Sorry, sis. You're out. Try Brandeis or NYU. Apparently we're similar. (?!?)

Monica H said...

You could be a hot chick. no?

Stephany said...

Nice list! People are funny. And stupid.

But at least it gives you good material for Twitter updates and your blog! :)

Anonymous said...

Every year I tell my students to please, PLEASE, use a professional sounding e-mail address for colleges. I get e-mails all the time from students, and, uh, YEAH, I've seen some interesting ones.

Sadly, I think the texting and taking e-mails is epidemic. I have parents that have sat in on conferences with me, texting and taking phone calls. IN A ONE ON ONE CONFERENCE.

Stacie said...

LMAO! I'm not applying to college, but your tips were hilarious (and you made good points).

I love your blog by the way!

Peggy said...

Too funny.

As for a costume, I suppose a boy inside (or not?!) a big silver balloon is not office appropriate?

Moi said...

Hermione? Better yet, Ginny. Borrow a Quidditch uniform and go as Katie Bell or Angelina Johnson.

It's probably a little sad I know their full names, isn't it?

Miss you!

Anonymous said...

Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post "No teme" in your blog with the link to you?