I was going to call this post "a weighty issue," but apparently I already titled something that.
I was thinking tonight. (I know, what a concept, right?) I was thinking about just how much more comfortable I feel about myself now that I'm at college. Appearance-wise.
Up here, I don't mind my thunder thighs. I embrace my beautiful bubble belly. While I'd love for my arms to be more toned, it's not the end of the world that they're not. And my chipmunk cheeks? Eh, my mom says they're cute.
I'm so much more comfortable up here because I'm not alone in my size. There are girls here of EVERY shape. There are girls who are smaller than I, sure. But there are girls my size. And there are girls who are bigger. And you know what?
Those girls, those bigger girls (myself included), they're not ostracized. People pay attention to them. And listen to them. Boys talk to them, are friends with them. Still, nearly 8 months since I've moved up to college, this still surprises me. And delights me, to be honest.
My high school was filled with girls who if they weren't a size 2, they were a size 0. Or they'd dipped down into the negative sizes (they exist. Really). They were all blonde with perfect skin, bright white teeth, manicured nails, flawless makeup. I, formerly at a size 12, was the biggest girl in the grade. Who didn't dye her hair. Who had never (and still has never) had a manicure. Whose makeup was quickly applied in the car on the way to school. I never felt pretty in high school. I felt ugly and fat.
I suppose that's another thing I've learned since being at college. I am not defined by my size. And people do not judge me for it.
I've caught myself looking around quite a few times lately, thinking, "My GOD, I'm just so happy to be me."
And that? Is one of the best feelings in the world.