4.22.2009

A bit of relief

I know it's been nearly 1.5 years since I worked for the R.'s. But when cleaning out my stuff tonight (beginning the stages of packing to go HOME for the summer!), I found a little drawing A. had done for me. We'd gone to the zoo with E., and were pretending to follow tiger tracks on an adventure. She drew me pictures of the tiger tracks.

I've been thinking about the girls all night. I loved (love) those girls passionately. I practically raised them from birth -- really, I spent far more time with them than their parents did. I parented them: I loved them, I disciplined them, I taught them. I was the only one there when E. took her first steps. A. took her first steps from me to her dad. I was there. I was there.

I also spend a lot of time wondering if I made the right decision in quitting. In leaving the girls with their monsters of parents. Wondering if I over-exaggerated my issues with Mr. & Mrs. R. -- were they really that bad? Was I a wimp?

Tonight, on a whim, I googled them. They own their own business in Texas, and without going into specifics, they deal with clients a LOT. Basically, it's all client interaction. Tonight I found a Web site filled with review after review of their business: all negative. Talking about how manipulative and threatening the R.'s were. Talking about how cruel they were. How demeaning. Person after person had come to that site to warn others not to deal with the R.'s.

It made me feel better. It made me feel like I wasn't alone in dealing with their crap. It made me think that just maybe, I did make the right decision in quitting. I still ache thinking about my sweet girls, but I had to get out of that environment. I just had to.