Exploding blogospheres

Most of my friend here at good ol' DreamSchool know I have a blog. I've kept the URL and subject matter private, but they know I have one nonetheless. I don't really know why I don't want them to know about the blog...but I guess it's because I'd like to have this as an outlet in which to vent about roommates, situations, etc. (as I sort of have in the past). Also because I just don't want them to have access to my innermost thoughts. Semi-relatedly, that's why I've locked my Twitter updates, because I'm almost always more candid in 140 characters or less.

I know it's entirely possible that either of my roommates may have stumbled across my blog while using my computer, which they do from time to time. They know I don't want them to read it, and I hope they respect that. But at the same time, I've been censoring myself even more just in case they have.

After my family (sister and parents) started reading my blog, I felt a bit violated even though I had given them permission to read (sort of out of feelings of obligation, even though they in no way pressured me to give them the address...). I absolutely started censoring myself then.

It's a funny thing about blogging, how I'm perfectly comfortable with all y'all strangers reading my innermost thoughts, but I get uncomfortable thinking that my parents or roommates might be reading, too. I've thought about password-protecting my updates again but I really hated having that done.

On a related bloggy note, a huge chunk of my friends now have blogs. Whereas previously they were pretty much out of the blogosphere altogether, at least four of them have started blogs within the past month or so. Which, I feel, makes me even more vulnerable. I always have to remember to check "anonymous" when posting comments on their blogs so as not to post under my "The Nanny" address. And I feel like them having blogs will make it easier for them to potentially stumble across my blog.

I suppose this is a rather long-winded explanation for why my posts have been rather empty lately. I went through a rather dark period for a while but even then I wouldn't write about it because a) I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer and b) I didn't want my parents on the phone giving me the third degree (sorry, mums and pops. Love you).

Suffice it to say, though, that I'm doing well. I'm enjoying my classes. I start my new job this week, working in DreamSchool's admissions office. My sister will be coming up to visit in a few weeks, and hopefully D. will be able to after that, also. D. and I are still crossing fingers, toes, etc. that she'll get into her own dream school up here too. She'll find out about everything mid-March. So all is, well, rather uneventful right now.

In the meantime, I'm doing a LOT of homework, taking daily 2-3 mile walks with friends (and my butt is looking fabulous! Yeah!), and playing inordinate amounts of MarioKart. In other words, life is good.


Monica H said...

I know what you mean. I feel weird know that Mr. H is in the other room reading my blog after I've posted.

I think when strangers read, it's almost as if they're reading a book. They don't know you, so whether they think your blog is humorous or boring, sad or happy, odd or fun, you'll never know unless they leave a comment. But even if they were judging you it doesn't affect you as family does. You care what your IRL friends and family think about you. They don't forget the things that are so personal with you. Bloggers do- they move on.

So basically whaat I'm saying is you feel vulnerable when somebody you know reads you innermost thoughts. And if you're like me and you open your big mouth and your family reads it, then you don't have a choice but going private. Something that was supposed to help youvent and release the stress makes it worse.

I'm glad to know that eveything is pretty uneventful but I hope you feel at home in this space and if not then you can email me whenever you want. Lord knows I am always needed someone to vent to.

Juicebox.mom said...

I feel ya!

Not a soul in my real life knows I even have a blog (certainly not 3 blogs). Even my husband and daughter and parents don't have a clue. They think I'm working (bwaaahahaha). Good luck Nanny; censoring yourself sucks!

Anonymous said...

I'l stop reading, 'cause I love you. However, if you have anything to say to me, it'll always be OK. Just keep in touch!

By on the blog,


Anonymous said...

I'll stop, too. I love you. I LOVE hearing about your life. But I know that your blog is very important to you and I don't want you to have to censor that outlet. And you know that I am a woman of my word.


P.S. You may need to help me figure out how to delete your blog from my bloglines preferences or whatever it's called...

lifeofadancer312 said...

Can I keep reading? You can say no because I understand where you're coming from.

The Nanny said...

Pops, Mums, and sis--no, y'all can keep reading! It's okay. Really. I'll let you know if I want you to stop. But it's all good for now :-)

The Nanny said...

Pops, Mums, and sis--no, y'all can keep reading! It's okay. Really. I'll let you know if I want you to stop. But it's all good for now :-)

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