Food for thought, a flying tale, and Max

Food for thought: You know you're beyond exhausted when you spend approximately three minutes trying to go UP the DOWN escalator with a suitcase behind you. And you just can't figure out WHY you're not going anywhere but instead are tripping all over your own feet.

Also, it's always painful and humiliating when you manage to trip UP a staircase in front of a building full of people. Don't ask me how I know this. But: ow.

Flying tale: So I'm on a flight coming home to Texas on Friday. I'm starving. I haven't eaten in forever and I'm exhausted, hungry, and cranky. I didn't have time to get any food before my flight so I figured I'd just buy a snack box on the plane and get a drink.

Unfortch, this particular airline is now charging $2 if you want a drink. Like any drink. Like...Nanny's a college student who doesn't have $2 to spend on a cup of ginger ale. But I still thought I'd buy a snack because, um, I'm really, REALLY in need of food over here. But they don't say anything about selling snacks so I page the flight attendant.

The flight attendant is very tall, and very blonde. She reminds me of a 40-year-old Barbie. She leans over, smiles VERY widely, and coos, "What can I do for you, sweetie?"

Um. Hi. I'm not 12, but she obviously thinks I am. Must be the fact that I'm pretty short...and I look 12. And when the boobs are hidden, I don't have much going for me. But anyway:

Me: "Hi, I'm really sorry, but I'm starving. Do you have any snacks for sale on this flight?"
Barbie: "Oh! Poor thing!" *LARGE WINK* "I'll take care of you. Don't you worry!"
She disappears for a few minutes and then I see her reemerge. She's holding something behind her back and looking very secretive. She winks again (and I almost start calling her Sarah Palin) and produces two bags of Harvest Cheddar Sunchips (NOOOO--I don't eat cheese! Dammit!) and smiles widely.
Barbie: "Here you go! I got these just for you!"
Me (in a very over-cheerful, loud voice): "Ohhhhh, THANK YOU!"
Barbie: "Enjoy!"
Me: "Ohhhhh, THANK YOU!"

She disappears for about 10 minutes and I hide the chips in my carry-on bag (so it looks like I've eaten them). In the meantime, I contemplate eating the Cold-Eeze I have stashed in my purse, but refrain, because ew. Next thing I know, Barbie has returned.

Barbie: "HI!"
Me: "Oh, hi!"
Barbie: "Sooooo, how were those chips?"
Me: "Oh, they were WONDERFUL, thank you!"
Barbie: "Oh, good!"

She leaves again but returns 15 minutes after that.

Barbie: "So, how're those chips working out for you?"
Me: "They were great, thank you so much!"
Barbie: "Oh that's wonderful!" *WINK*

So yeah. That's really my story with no point at all. But I thought it was slightly amusing after I landed and stuffed my face with celery and red pepper hummus.


Max: Today pupster Max managed to eat almost 6 ounces of 70% cacao dark chocolate. Needless to say, he became a very, very sick puppy. I know he threw up some but he was also shaking, acting very lethargic, and bloated in weird places. My dad and sis took him into the emergency vet clinic and it now pupster Max is hooked up to an IV, getting his system flushed out, and on a medicine to slow his heart rate (so he doesn't go into convulsions and die). It's been a pretty freaky evening especially since I'm 2,000 miles away, but he's going to be OK, so I feel better. Poor puppy :-(


Monica H said...

About 13 years ago (man I sound old) my cousin who was only about 3 or 4 years old and I were going down the escalator. My mom and aunt pushing a stroller were behind us. I decided to sit down on the escalator with my cousin to look out the clear side panels. This idea of mine sounded great until we got to the bottom and I didn't get up fast enough. I kept putting my hands behind me to get up, but they kept getting pushed underneath me. My mom and aunt ended up having to literally kick me out of the way to clear the aisle. Embarrassing.

I never knew flight attendants could coo :-)

So sorry to hear about Max. I'm sure that's pretty scary. I hope he gets better soon.

The Nanny said...

When I was about 6 or 7, I missed the step on the escalator and scraped up the back of my ankle pretty badly--and I've been scarred for life ever since (figuratively, not literally)! To this day I very gingerly step on to the downward escalator while clutching the handrail for dear life :)

Zanzibar George said...

I fall up stairs all the time...
Does that just mean that I'm more clumsy than regular people?

(I love Max!)