11.25.2008

Overdue, overdramatic, and overepic, pts. 2&3

Evidence #2 that I am losing it completely:

My glasses have disappeared. Somewhere between DreamSchool and here, they've POOFED and gone away. And it's not just my glasses that are missing--my contacts case AND my glasses case are gone, and inside my glasses case I had hid several of my favorite pairs of earrings.

I know fo' sho' I packed them. At least I think I did. I called and had my super amazing roomies check all over the dorm room -- one even looked in the laundry room, just in case -- to no avail. I've torn apart both suitcases, my purse, AND my laptop bag, and then had my mom, dad, and sister do the same. Pupster Max also nosed around and didn't find them, either.

This is a mystery to the extreme. And it's driving me crazy. Where could those little boogers have gone?!?**

**In this case, I suppose not only have I lost my marbles, but I've lost my glasses.

Evidence #3:

Yesterday (Monday) I had carefully scheduled four appointments. These were all annual checkups and hair trims that NEEDED TO HAPPEN. It was going to be a crazy day, but I knew I could make it through as long as EVERY DOCTOR was running ON TIME. Tall order, I know.

Here's what should have happened:
9:15 a.m.: dentist check-up
10:30 a.m.: physical
12:40 p.m.: gynocologist
2:00 p.m. haircut

Here's what really happened:
9:05 a.m.: I arrive at the dentists. I give them my name and they give me a funny look. "Uhh, you're here rather early, Nanny," they say. "You know your appointment's not til 10:15, right?"
UHHhhhhhhh...oh please dear god don't tell me I'm supposed to be at my physical right now. But it couldn't be! I know my physical is at 10:30!
Luckily the dentists are able to work me in at 9:15. Thank you sweet lord jesus.
10:25: I arrive at the physical. Undress, get poked and prodded, answer questions ("Yes of COURSE I take my iron pills!"), re-dress, pay, and leave. Uneventful and quick. (Ahaha. I was going to make a sex joke, but my parents read this blog, so I'll refrain.)
-Go home and scarf down lunch-
12:30 p.m.: Arrive at the gyno. I give them my name and they give me a funny look (sound familiar?). "Uhh, you're here rather early, Nanny," they say. "You know you're appointment's not til 1:40, right?"
Lordhavemercy. I sit in the waiting room for an hour reading Anne of Avonlea. And trying not to 1) fall asleep and 2) look at every woman in the room and know that in a few minutes, they'll have their feet up in stirrups. (HUSH. You do it too. And there was room for another sex joke in there. But again. Refraining.)
1:40 p.m.: Undress, get poked and prodded, answer questions ("Yes of COURSE I use protection!") (uh, juuuuust kidding, parents), re-dress, pay, and leave. Uncomfortable and quick. (REFRAINING.)
Realize that since it's after 2 p.m, I'm not going to make my 2 p.m. hair appointment. I call them and they say, "But Nanny, your appointment's at 3!"

Uh yeah. Noticing a trend, here? Consistently (with the exception of the physical, for whatever reason) an hour early. Whaaa? All I can guess is that my phone (which is what I keep track of my appointments in) automatically adjusted everything for daylight savings? And I didn't know it would do that? But is my phone really that intelligent? Am I really that unintelligent? These are a lot of questions?

ANYWAY. Yes. So maybe the last example wasn't TOTALLY my fault. Since, you know, my phone does hate me and moves my appointment times around just to spite me.

Oh, lord, I need therapy...

3 comments:

lifeofadancer312 said...

.....so......many......wonderful......opportunities.....for.........that'swhatshesaidjokes.......


........must......refrain........

ahhhhhh!!!

The Hoodies said...

Maybe the baggage handler is rocking multiple pairs of earrings and your delightful glasses or perhaps your evil phone stole them ;-)

Monica H said...

Blame TSA for the glasses and earrings. Maybe they thought you were going to blow something up with your contact solution...

"Am I really that unintelligent?"
Well...(refraining)... :-)

Just kidding Nanny- you know I love you! Glad you're home. Happy Thanksgiving!