D.'s flight was canceled so she won't be coming out here this weekend, and instead Auntie Flo arrived with a vengeance. Call in the Ben & Jerry's reinforcements and hope that D. can reschedule her flight for next weekend or the weekend after.
Edited to add: No word on a rescheduled flight, but roommate #3 and I came home to roommate #2 crying. With two crying girls in one day (me included), we decided to take matters into our own hands:
P.S. Notice the Friends episode in the background. We know how to do things 'round these here parts.