I hope to get on one more time and post tonight, but I may not have a chance to. My suitcases are packed, we're crossing things off lists...it's almost M-day, guys. Moving day. It's hit me today for really the first time--I'm moving. Almost 2,000 miles away. A new, unknown city, a very unknown life. Up until now I've been more excited than anything else but today, I've been near tears constantly, thinking, reminiscing. I almost cried when I took Damien's keys off my key ring. I'm leaving him behind--no sense in driving him up there and having to pay for parking in a city filled with cabs and a subway.
I've been hesitant to sleep in my bed the last several nights, so I haven't. I don't know why. Tonight I will, but it's a very weird and very surreal feeling that This is no longer my room, my space even though of course it is. So much of me is still in this room. My happy yellow walls, posters and pictures on the wall, books everywhere even though I've already shipped so many of them up. It's very, very weird.
Tomorrow at this time I'll be in a hotel in my new city, missing D. so badly, missing Max and Lula, missing my sister. I'll be leaving tomorrow on a flight that leaves at 6:30 a.m., leaving my hometown and everything I hold dear and foraging on a new adventure in a new city. New. New. New. New bedspread, new room. New sights, new people, new climate, new everything. Change and I have a love-hate relationship; right now I am wary of Him, but I'm sure that will change soon. Hopefully for the better.
In the meantime, I'm having a Final Supper with family and friends. My favorite dinner--a salad pizza--and games. I won't be back here until late November, and then December after that, and perhaps Easter...but this is my last night truly living here. I doubt I'll be back to stay. I'll come for visits here and there, but tonight I bid my farewell to Texas, to the city in which I was born, the city in which I grew up. I am terribly sad, and excited, and happy, and terrified. I don't know when I'll be able to get on and post again (maybe, maybe tonight), as the internet in the hotel I'll be in is shaky at best. Most likely next time I'll post I'll be in my dorm room, boxes piled up everywhere, the air tinged slightly of an awkward, new, forced sisterhood with my roommates.
Wish me luck, please. I need it.