I said goodbye to the girls.
I saw them and oh...my heart was full with love for these two sweet girls. It was worth all the stress, anxiety and worrying that happened along the way!
I spoke with Mrs. R. a few times on the phone working out logistics. She was lovely and sweet, and for a while I forgot all about why I hated her. She was going to be out of town so Mr. R. would be bringing the girls to meet me at the local mall, where we'd go for ice cream and look around while Mr. R. sat in Starbucks nearby.
I have to admit--I was nervous, but not as nervous as I thought I would be. I felt like something was pressing "calm, calm, calm," down upon my shoulders and it worked. My heart was thumping pretty darn hard, but I felt inwardly that everything was going to be okay. And it was.
I wasn't sure how they would react when they first saw me. I suspected A. might be a little shy at first, and E. wouldn't want to hug me. But I was wrong! Both girls enveloped me in hugs. It was amazing. They were so happy to see me...I was shaking and trying not to cry as they bombarded me with love and "Nanny guess what!", "Nanny look at this!", and "I missed you, Nanny!"
A. has grown a little taller and she's losing her chubby baby fat. Her face looks older. E. has grown a TON and looks just the same. Mr. R. and I danced awkwardly and politely around the large elephant in the room, promised to meet up again in an hour and a half, and the girls and I were on our way.
Both girls chattered the whole time. I was in heaven, catching up on their lives and what's been happening with them. I won't go into some of the family details (one of which surprised me; the other I expected), but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Mrs. R. has been spending more time with the girls. She actually painted both of their nails the other day rather than sending them with Mr. R. to get a manicure/pedicure, as she used to do. Both girls seemed happy and healthy, and estactic to see me. That was the best part of all.
We went to a few toy stores and I bought them each a present, sucker that I am. We talked and talked, and it felt just like old times, like I'd never left. This was just another day, except that today I'd hand them back to their father and not see them again for a long, long time. (Never?)
At the end of the visit, I gave them each envelopes with my school address on them so they could write me. I hope they do. I just keep thinking that all these months of not seeing me and they both remembered so much. I hope they continue to remember me. Because I'll never stop thinking of them!
P.S. I took down a few of my archived posts of the R's, just because I'm still paranoid they'll find me. If you're new to my blog and want to read about them, just e-mail me.