A post of answers?

UPDATE below

My sister has been bugging me about why my posts are, as she says, one or two sentences only. Honestly? Cause I don't have anything all that interesting to blog about! And I don't want to bore y'all with meaningless posts.

Oh, hell. Who am I kidding? I do that all the time.

But tonight I'm coming here to actually write something nanny-related! Woohoooooo! But, in advance, it's not a pretty or happy-go-lucky story.

Monday I was with the S's (my regular Monday/Friday family). I had picked up both Boy and Girl from school and they were sitting doing their homework (yeah, yeah. I'm a mean nanny. I make my kids do their homework). The weather was really scary outside, though. The sky was dark and threatening, the weathermen had that slightly panicked tone in their voices that they try (unsuccessfully) to mask...it wasn't looking good. And if y'all know me, the one thing I am most terrified of are tornadoes. I. am. scared. to. death. of. them. All afternoon, the national weather service had been issuing tornado watches, and though those raise my heartrate, I'm not curled up on the floor in the fetal position in fright. But all of a sudden, they issued a tornado warning.

For my city.

Where I was with the kids.

To be fair, the city where I live is big and the warning was issued for South City, and I was in North City. But still. I saw the words "Tornado Warning" and "My City" in big bold red letters, and I was completely terrified.

Now, I've dealt with bad weather while babysitting before. I can distinctly remember a time when I was with A. and E. and the wind was blowing so hard I thought the windows would break, so I had them cuddled against me in the hall closet. But it's been never this bad.

The next part of this story I'm not proud of. In fact, it's still haunting me and it's Wednesday. But anyway. Boy had an activity at school that afternoon, and even though I didn't want to leave their house, I still drove him the 2 minutes back up to school. Earlier in the day, Mrs. S. had told me I could leave after I dropped Boy off--Girl could watch herself. And in the middle of that storm, there was nothing more I wanted than to be at MY house, not 30 minutes away from my house.

Girl was freaked out because of the storm, too. And while there were no tornadoes headed directly for us at that time, they could have been at any moment. So I lied to her, doling out reassuring platitudes and convincing her that she was in NO danger, that all the storms were going to miss their house completely. So she hesitated, but told me I could go back to my house.

And I fled.

I've been plagued with guilt ever since. Nothing ended up happening, either at her house or mine, but what if it had? What if I had just left her, terrified 14 year old girl, alone at her house with a tornado? What if something had happened to her?

I'm not quite sure why I acted the way I did on Monday. Anytime I was with A. and E. and it was a scary situation, I instantly turned into 'Uber Protective' mama. No matter what, those girls were my top priority. When the weather was really scary, I was never as scared, because I was so concentrated on them and making sure they were okay.

The whole situation unsettles me. But please know, I'm not posting this to get sympathy comments. This is something that's been weighing heavily on me since Monday and I just needed to get it out.

(On a positive ending note, I'm babysitting K. & J. tomorrow night! I absolutely ADORE them and am so excited. Hopefully they'll provide me with some good blogging material!)

Edited to add: Now y'all, I didn't mean leave me NO comments. So how about some comment love? Also, my babysitting job with J&K tonight got canceled :-( but at least I get to watch The Office marathon! WOOHOO!


Tru said...

Hey girl-
Don't worry about it. Fear is a healthy reaction. If we didn't get scared we would run towards the scarey man with the knife, or run into the burning building.
If it makes you feel any better I am really scared of the dark- and not just dark- as in the absence of light- but dark as in what is there that I can't see. There have been multiple times where I have almost scremed out loud because I thought something was in the cornor and it ended up being my cat or a jacket hanging on a chair. I love you dearly, and I know those kids do too. Thanks for the posts by the way- can I mention you in my blogg as Nanny? I might do a post on frightening things.

The Nanny said...

Absolutely, Tru.

d said...

she is 14. that's probably why you weren't in super nanny mode. plus, you haven't been babysitting them as long as you babysitted a. and e. I mean, a. and e. were like your own kids who you would die for. It's perfectly understandable. what wouldn't have been reasonable is if you had just left without calming her down. but you were a good nanny and calmed her down.

and tornadoes are EXTREMELY frightening. but at least they only occur during one part of the year instead of all 12 months.

Young Creations said...

I read a ton of blogs. I like your a lot. I am giving you a link to another blog. She blogged about her fear of a tornado last week. I wonder if you are in the same city. I think you might get a kick out of it.

Take a look:


Monica H said...

My had a layover in your city on Monday because of the tornados. My flight was delayed about an hour and a half.