Edited to add: My sweet fish Henry the 2nd died this afternoon. I'll miss the little guy; he was such a social fish. He always swam out to "greet" me when I walked in the room.
I had a series of made-no-sense dreams last night. One, however, was different.
I was grocery shopping, mindlessly pushing my cart through the aisles and trying to justify buying a bag of sour cream & onion potato chips, because let's face it, we all know they'll be gone within a few hours but still I haven't had them in so long and have been so good lately. I look up from squinting at the nutrition label and see Mr. R. and the girls. He's pushing them in a shopping cart, just as I did when I used to take the girls to the store. They don't see me but he and I make eye contact; my eyes burn and I quickly look down. When I look up again they're gone.
Later, standing in the checkout line, he comes up to me. The girls aren't with him. "Just tell me," he says urgently, his face close to mine, "why you left. Why you quit. Just tell me."
Apparently I have a stronger grip on what I want to say in my dreams. In my dream I have no problem looking him in the eyes and telling him firmly, "Because you and Mrs. R. were literally driving me crazy. They way you treated each other, the way you treated the girls...I just couldn't take it anymore."
And then I walked away.
When I woke up from my dream, I felt better. About the R.'s situation, and life in general. I think that dream gave me a bit of closure, for which I am so grateful.