E. and I in the car on Friday:

E.: "Nanny!"
Me: "Yes?"
E. (out of nowhere): "I GOT THE BOOGER OUT!"
Me: "Oh, wow...okay, please don't wipe it on my seats...here's a Klee.nex."
E.: "IT ALL STICKY! EW!" *wipes it on my seats*
Me: *bangs head on steering wheel repeatedly*
E.: "Nanny!"
Me: "Yes, E.?"
E.: "I bweeding!"
Me: (silently) Oh, crap.

I look back and there's blood gushing out of her nose. My hears skips a few beats--it's not everyday you look in the rearview mirror and see your 3-year-old nannygirl covered in blood. I think she just shoved her finger wayyyy to far up there and hit/irritated something. And that something is now all over my (freshly cleaned) seats.

I pull into a gas station and run to get some of those blue paper towel things that they put by the gas pumps. I soon realize that's not going to cut it, so I grab E. and go inside.

Me: "PLEASE can I have an ice pack and some more paper towels? My little one has a bad nosebleed!"
Little-English speaking older man: "You hit dat girl?"
Me: "What? NO! She was picking her nose!"
Man: "Peeking?"
Me: "No, PICKING. You know, like picking her nose?" (I jab my finger in the vague direction of my nose, hoping he'll get it. E., meanwhile, is sitting there looking pathetic in my arms, not crying, but with blood coming out of her nose STILL.)
Man: "Hold on, hold on, I call manager."

Thank goodness. The manager knows how to speak English. He retrieves several ice packs for E., gets us both glasses of water, and several rolls of paper towels. He also lets us sit in his back office until her nose has stopped bleeding, which was nice--the gawking customers in the gas station store were making things a bit awkward. As we're walking out, he lets E. pick out a piece of candy.

We're a little late picking up A. from school, but what else could we have done? Fortunately, she's in a great mood, and the girls chatter away happily as we make the long trek home.

That just leaves me and my blood-stained car.

When I got back there to clean it up, there wasn't as much blood as I thought there was. I was able to scrub most of it out with a damp towel.

Let's just hope I don't get pulled over anytime soon...the car still smells of blood. That wouldn't be suspicious AT ALL.


Monica H said...

"Did you hit her!?!" That's hilarious. Even if I thought it, I would never have asked.

Whe I was younger I used to get nose bleeds all the time. I was always at school when it happened, so I got to miss class and sit in the nurse's office. The only difference between E. and I is that I got mine from the dry weather, not picking my nose. That's my story and I'm sticking to it :)

Carole said...

I agree with Monica...hysterical that he even asked that.

I got a call home from Zak's school...his nose is bleeding blah blah blah. My first response...did he pick it again? lol

stellatus sidera said...

you never cease to amaze me. ever.

commenting on my blog? yes? okay good.

LET'S DO SOMETHING WOMAN. you get your girl and i'll get mine.

The Nanny said...

Sidera--I'll see you tomorrow (Tuesday)!

Superjayman's Battle of the Bulge said...

LMAO!!!! TEEHEE...you are really funny.

Monica said...

hheeheh! I hope she learned the lesson... you can stick your finger in your nose too far.